Can't Help Falling In Love
by Poisoned.Ideals
Summary: Jasper found Alice in 1948 and they found the Cullens in 1950. What if their first two years together weren't as smooth as the books make it seem? This is their  slightly AU  story.
1. Prologue

**Can't Help Falling In Love**

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, setting, etc. are property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

The Volturi sat on their thrones, as they did on any other day and watched the vampire that stood before them. She had come from North America, the Southern United States more specifically, with something important to tell them. Or at least, that was what she'd said. For the moment, just how important what she had to say really was had yet to be seen. Many vampires came before the Volturi, claiming to have important information on some subject or other, but most were, as was with most humans, just in it for themselves. Some were looking for a reward, others simply wanted to see the castle and say they'd met the Volturi. Some had ulterior motives and tried to trick the Volturi into helping them get something they wanted. Usually, it was revenge. And usually, these vampires that disturbed the Volturi, without a valid reason for doing so, never saw the outside of the castle, or anything else for that matter ever again.

"Well?" Marcus stared at the woman, having already forgotten her name and why it was she'd come. She seemed excited, almost to the point of being anxious and she seemed angry. He could tell just by looking at her for her a split second that she seemed very angry about... something. He was almost curious enough to wonder about what it was that made her so angry, but he didn't care enough to ask her.

"We were told you have some information for us," said Aro. He leaned forward in his seat, just barely hiding his excitement, though he seemed more interested in something other than any potential information she might have.

Caius nodded abruptly at the vampire and remained seated. He did not show any interest in her, but didn't make a show of being disinterested either.

Aro continued to stare at her, curiosity growing by the second. He could have easily reached out, touched her and learned everything she knew, including what she had supposedly come to tell them, but it was always more fun to see what a vampire had to say, what partial truth or complete lie they were going to tell before learning the real truth.

The woman stared back at them. "I have some very important information for you-"

"You will stop with the pleasantries," said Caius. He spoke softly, but there was no doubt what he'd said was a command.

The woman nodded. "Jasper Whitlock. You've been looking for him, though perhaps not by name. He played a big part in one of the warring covens, my coven, in the southern territories and I've heard that he's started raising a newborn army in the North. He left me some time ago, but that did seem to be his goal. He kept talking about wanting his own territory and he kept saying that the North looked like the perfect place to do that, what with there being no competition. I've come to warn you so you can stop him." Once she finished, she looked straight at Aro, almost as if she was daring him to question what she'd just said.

Caius laughed. "And you've, what, come to tell us because, why exactly?" A newborn army being created was the sort of thing the Volturi liked to look into, but there was something about the woman, how she'd offered up the information without asking for anything in return; almost all vampires with actual, useful information did ask for something, that didn't sit quite right.

"I wanted to warn you so that you could act and solve this before it becomes a problem. That is what you do, isn't it?" The woman smiled, but it was completely and utterly false. It was obvious that she was desperately trying to hide alternative motivations.

"Come here, please." Aro nodded at the woman and held out his hand. For a half second, she faltered and did not move at all. Aro nodded again and she moved forward. She extended her hand to him and visibly braced herself.

A moment later, Aro knew everything. Knew that this woman, Maria, had not come simply to warn them and prevent disaster but that she'd come to seek what she considered justice, which was really no more than the desired revenge of a spurned creator and lover. He also knew that almost everything she'd said had been a lie. Jasper Whitlock had, as far as Aro could see, no plans of gaining territory of his own. He had, until recently, been assisting her in running her territory by training the newborns for her army until, quite abruptly, he'd decided to leave her. Why he'd done so was unclear. But Aro knew with an almost one hundred percent certainty that it wasn't to start his own army. For all Aro knew, it might very well have been because he was tired of all the fighting and all the battle scars. As he had seen, this Jasper was covered in scars, signs of damage from previous fights. It was highly unattractive.

Another thing, and this excited Aro greatly, was that this Jasper Whitlock had a rather peculiar gift - the ability to affect and, if trained properly, to corrupt, someone's emotional state. Aro's eyes glazed over in the mere thought of what power Jasper would bring to the Volturi.

He looked over at Caius and smiled. "She is worse than completely useless, but the vampire she speaks of, Jasper Whitlock, should be brought here immediately. From what I've just seen, he will prove very useful."

Caius nodded and snapped his fingers. The guards, who had up until now been standing silently in front of the doors, moved forward. Caius nodded towards Maria and, before she had the chance to react, the guards' strong hands were on her. She struggled. She kicked and bit and swore, but her actions were, as Aro had so recently said she herself was, useless. It took only seconds for the guards to tear her limb from limb. Neither one appeared to take any joy from the experience. Rather, they both looked as though this was so commonplace that it was absolutely devoid of any interest for either of them. They made short work of piling her now destroyed body into a pile in the center of the room. One of them pulled a match from a pocket hidden within his long, swirling cloak and lit it. Without any fanfare whatsoever, he threw the match onto the pile of rubble that had previously been Maria and watched as the flames began to consume the pieces.

Both guards nodded, their work finished and stepped back to the doors, standing in place without moving, without so much as breathing. They were so still it was as though they were living statues, which, in a way, they were.

Aro watched the flames lick at the sparkling, diamond hard skin and watched as it began to slowly tear it apart. He smiled. It was amusing, this woman who had thought so much of herself, a woman who had been so completely arrogant as to lie to them, now amounted to nothing more than a pile of broken bits of jagged stone.

He looked over at Caius again and smiled. This time it was a smile comparable to the excited smile of a young child eagerly awaiting opening a present and playing with a new toy. "From what I've seen, I think it would be wise to send Alec, Jane and Demetri to find this Jasper. They should have no trouble bringing him back."

Again, Caius simply nodded.


	2. Wise Men Say

**Chapter One**

**Wise Men Say**

"Afternoon, Miss Alice!" Big Eddie called out from the small diner's tiny kitchen. He wiped his hands on his grease splattered apron and leaned on the tall counter. "Is it raining yet?"

"Unfortunately, no," I sighed as I hopped up to the seat of the tall stool I had called my own for the last ten days. I carefully kept my too short legs from swinging unnaturally fast.

"You want it to rain?" he asked with a deep belly laugh as his wife, Betty, the diner's only waitress, set my usual glass of Coca-Cola and plate of fries in front of me.

"I've just got a feeling that the next rainstorm will be a good one," I explained as I deftly made sure the pocket of my raincoat was open and ready to hold the fries I wouldn't eat; the soda would water the wilted plant next to me. "I think something good is going to happen when the rain starts."

Big Eddie and Betty exchanged a look that I had seen more and more often over the last week and a half. They were concerned about my sanity. I didn't blame them, really. If I knew of someone who had seen a vision of the love of their life walking through the doors of a diner when it was raining and the man in the black fedora started reading the sports page, I'd probably question their sanity. But I was entirely confident in my sanity, such as it was.

"Now, honey, you don't think that man you've been waiting on so long is gonna show up just because of a little rain, do you," Betty said in a mothering tone.

"Of course not," I scoffed nervously. "That would be crazy. But didn't you ever wake up to a new day and just know that something good is going to happen?"

"Sure I have, Alice," Betty said with a little too much passion; she thought I was nuts.

Betty returned to cleaning a recently emptied booth and Big Eddie turned back to his sizzling griddle. I sighed expectantly and nimbly poured a third of my soda into the plant. Then I angled myself so that I could keep a close eye on the door and the man in the black fedora.

The street was darkening quickly and the man had just started the business section. It wouldn't be long now.

I decided to pass the time running through different scenarios in my head. I knew that Jasper would be nervous; that he would react badly to the slightest misstep so it was essential that I do this absolutely right.

Option 1: I jump off my stool, hurry to him and throw my arms around him.

A growl ripples from his chest; he thinks I'm attacking. He throws me off and attacks me.

I cringed and quickly made sure that no one had noticed. That was not even close to being a legitimate option. For one, I was pretty sure that he would kill me, to say nothing of the six humans in the diner. Then he would be destroyed by the Volturi; I had learned about them from a nomad named Garrett who had kindly stopped long enough to teach me the rules of being a vampire. No. Everyone dying was not an option.

Option 2: I slide slowly down from my stool and approach him cautiously. I motion for him to follow me to the street.

Jasper is confused. He doesn't follow me. He's too thirsty. Left alone with no other vampires, he murders the six people in the diner and I can't stop him.

I shook my head violently at the mess I saw. That also is not an option. Jasper would be far too depressed to do anything but wander on. Without me. And I must do what I can to preserve life, not take it. That's why I'd taught myself to be a vegetarian like the Cullens that I, we, would one day call family.

Option 3: I hop off my stool and walk toward him with a calm, purposeful air. Then I smile and say something cute and endearing.

Jasper takes my hand. We leave together.

I allowed myself a satisfied smile. This was really the only option. Approaching Jasper this way would definitely put us on the road to an eternity together. And that was my goal.

I glanced around the diner, hoping that no one had noticed my 'daydreaming'. Everyone was going about their business. The man in the black fedora was on the last page of the business section of his paper; sports would be next, and the rain had started.

I quickly stowed most of my fries in my pocket and finished watering the plant. Then I tried, and failed, to arrange my spiky hair into something that didn't look quite so much like an alarmed cartoon character. I growled quietly at the shiny glass lid over the peach pie that showed me such an honest reflection.

Jasper was outside the door, hesitating. His eyes were dark with thirst. He would come inside in nine seconds.

My fingers gripped the bottom of my stool so tightly that there would forever be small ridges in the metal base.

The soft jingle of the bell above the door focused my attention just then. Jasper had arrived!

Tall, blond, muscular and very wary. His eyes flashed to me as he caught my scent. I smiled more honestly than I had in my twenty-eight years as a vampire. I hopped down from my stool and walked toward him, palms facing out as Garrett had taught me.

He was tense and confused when I stopped six feet in front of him.

I smiled even more brightly. "You've kept me waiting a long time," I told him softly.

He ducked his head, his blond curls bouncing slightly. "I'm sorry, ma'am," he said with an accent so nice I accidentally let a tiny giggle escape.

I held out my hand to him and he took it. An electric current ran through me.

I turned at the door and glanced back quickly with a smile. Big Eddie and Betty were both leaning on the counter, mouths hanging open and eyes wide in disbelief.

"Bless you, Miss Alice," I heard Big Eddie sigh just as the door closed behind Jasper and I.

"I know a safe place," I told him quietly as I opened my umbrella. "Is that okay?"

He took the umbrella from me and held it closer to my height than his. "Yes," he agreed uncertainly, as if he didn't know why he was agreeing. "That's fine."

I slipped my arm through his and, to my delight, he only recoiled a tiny bit.

We hurried out of the city and then ran, arm in arm, to French Creek State Park.

Once we were as deep as possible in the forest, I stopped and turned to him. "There are some white-tailed deer nearby, if you need a quick snack," I suggested; cringing when I realized that I was probably well on my way to scaring him away.

"Don't do that," he said softly as he reached out and touched his finger to my chin for the briefest moment. "Don't cringe."

"Why?" I was admittedly a little confused, flustered maybe, by his touch.

He looked as confused as I felt. "I don't really know," he said with a shrug of his broad shoulders. "It just doesn't suit you. I don't like it. Why did you do it?"

"I'm probably overwhelming you, Jasper," I said, immediately burying my face in my hands to hide the cringe that resulted from my boldly knowing his name before he told me. "I don't want to do that."

"I am overwhelmed but I won't hurt you," he promised me solemnly. "So please stop worrying so much."

"I know you won't hurt me," I assured him with a certainty that seemed to confuse him more. "And I'll try my best to stop worrying. What can I do to make you less overwhelmed?"

He reached out and gently held my hands in his, a split second decision that I hadn't seen but very much liked. "Maybe you could answer a few questions?" he asked tentatively.

"Ask anything you want. I'll answer everything," I said with complete confidence in my ability to be honest.

"Okay," he said slowly, clearly deciding where to begin. "How do you know that my name is Jasper?"

I let out a little huff of air. I had hoped I wouldn't have to explain my visions right at the beginning. But maybe it was best that way. He could leave before I fell any more in love with him, if that were even possible.

"I know your name is Jasper Whitlock because I have visions of the future," I said as quickly as possible. "And I saw you."

"Visions of the future," he repeated quietly. "That's your gift?"

"Gift?" I repeated, considering the idea. I had been too afraid to tell Garrett about my visions. I just thought I was slightly crazy.

"Yes. Some vampires have gifts. You must have the gift of seeing the future," he explained patiently.

"Huh," I sighed, cocking my head to the side. "I never thought of it as a gift. A gift is much better than a curse, though. Thank you."

"You're welcome. So your visions must explain why you said that I kept you waiting a long time," he guessed easily.

"Yes. The first thing I saw when I woke up in the forest was a vision of you." If I were human, I would have been blushing. I averted my eyes from his and looked down at my shoes.

"Exactly how long did I keep you waiting?" he asked, the concern in his voice spilling into the emotions he was sending out.

I kept my eyes down as I answered. "Twenty-eight years," I murmured shyly.

"You waited twenty-eight years for me?" he asked with a hollow chuckle of disbelief. "I'm really not worth that."

"Oh, yes you are," I assured him fervently, looking back into his obsidian eyes. "I promise you are very much worth it."

"You've seen it?"

I nodded slowly, wishing I could read his mind as I dropped my gaze again. "I'm sorry."

"That's worse than cringing," he said, raising my chin with his finger. "You can't help what your talent is. I know that. I have a talent, too. But you probably already know that."

I grinned a little and shrugged.

"What's your name?" he asked next. "I should have asked that already."

"Alice."

"You're sad? Why does your name make you sad?"

"I don't remember anything before I saw you that first time. Not my human life, not the vampire who changed me. Nothing. Not even a last name." I choked back the urge to cry and kept my eyes on his this time. "The clothes I was wearing had a name-tag that said Alice, so I'm Alice."

He seemed slightly uncomfortable with my sadness so I forced myself to smile. "We have eternity to talk about that. Do you have more questions?"

"Yes. Are you keeping those for some reason?" he said with the tiniest of smiles as he pointed to the fries that were sticking out of my pocket.

"Oops," I giggled, my mood lightening immediately. I gouged a hole in the dirt with the toe of my shoe and buried the fries. "They'll break down there. Next question?"

He paused and looked at me intently. "Why are your eyes that color?" he demanded quietly.

I smiled happily then. Finally the question I most wanted to answer. "I don't feed on humans," I explained as I watched him closely. "I feed on animals."

"Animals?" he repeated, swallowing hard and making a face. "Why?"

"I don't want to kill people," I explained easily. "I could never live with myself if I did. So I taught myself to hunt animals. That's what I meant when I mentioned the deer. Sorry."

"Do you know other vampires who hunt animals? I've never heard of it."

"I don't know them. I know of them. They are the Cullen coven. We're going to…" I bit my lip. I had said too much.

"The Cullens? What are we going to do, Alice? Please finish your thought."

The way he looked at me, protective and caring, left me little choice but to spill it all. "I've seen us join the Cullen coven," I said with a sigh. "At some point."

"We join them together?" he asked warily and I wondered if he didn't want to join a coven.

"We don't have to, if you don't want to," I said quietly.

"But you'd like to," he said with a grim smile. "I guess I had better go and find those deer you mentioned; I am very thirsty and I won't be much fun to travel with if I have to kill a human."

"Travel?" I chirped as a very quick vision flashed that I would need to acquire a car soon.

"Yes, Alice," he laughed, apparently at my excitement. "Travel. Don't we have to travel to find these Cullens?"

"We do. I hunted last night so I'll just check and tell you where you'll be safe and then I'll try and see if I can't have a new vision of the Cullens." He stood patiently, his hands still holding mine, while I checked. "If you go six hundred yards to the south, the herd will stop there in one minute. Or, you can wait until they pass right through here in six minutes."

"I don't want to leave you yet," he said tenderly, "so I'll wait six minutes."

I blinked furiously as I tried to control my happiness at those twelve words. "Uh…well…if I zone out, don't panic," I stuttered shyly. "I'll be right back."

I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate.

Esme and Rosalie had driven Rosalie's new blue Pontiac Silver Streak to a Sears & Roebuck store, somewhere. They were shopping for clothes for a wedding. Rosalie and Emmett were getting married again.

There were pine trees, lots of them, around the store.

I refocused on the forest around me, jumping with a tiny squeal when I realized that Jasper was still beside me.

"Anything good?" he asked curiously.

"The Cullens live near lots of pine trees and a Sears & Roebuck store," I reported.

"Pine trees and a Sears & Roebuck," he laughed softly. "That doesn't narrow it down, does it?"

"They're somewhere out west, too. I saw that in my last vision of them."

The deer had trailed into view and Jasper sighed reluctantly. "Then I'd better eat so we can go. Are you sure you won't join me?"

I decided it would be easier for him if I did it with him the first time so we ran, my tiny hand clasped in his, after the deer.


	3. Only Fools Rush In

**Chapter Two**

**Only Fools Rush In**

We chased after the deer, catching up to them easily. Alice grabbed one of the biggest, strongest ones almost immediately after we caught up to them. I could have done the same, should have, but instead stopped to watch her. She moved with such grace, even when doing something as mundane as chasing after a meal. She threw her prey down to the ground, lying it flat and snapping its' neck all in one simple motion. She looked up at me then and nodded towards one of the other deer before starting in on her own. I nodded and looked to the deer. They had gotten farther away in the time I'd taken to stop, but it didn't take long to catch up to them again. I ran alongside them, racing to the front of the herd. I stopped and they continued running, some of them smart enough to dart around me, others, too set on their chosen course, crashing right into me. I grabbed one of the first that had crashed into me and dashed to the side, dragging it by the antlers. The animal struggled against me, but for once, it didn't bother me. I couldn't help but smile, just a little. This animal was struggling, it was obviously afraid, but it didn't bother me. I couldn't actually feel its pain or its fear. I looked directly into the eyes of the beast. Anyone would have been able to tell it was panicking, but it still didn't affect me at all. I bit into it, sucking enough blood from its body that it died only seconds later. Once I was finished I dropped the corpse of what was once a great, powerful animal to the ground. Again, I couldn't help but smile just a little bit. I was starting to see the advantages to this lifestyle. For starters, there was no messy clean-up after a kill. It wasn't anything close to the same as human blood, but it wasn't completely terrible, either.

I walked back to Alice a split second later and when I looked over at her I noticed that she had this look on her face, one I was beginning to understand was tied to her power. I waited for her to come back to herself, it only took a few seconds.

"What did you see?" I asked calmly. I ran my sleeve over my mouth to remove any lingering traces of blood. It was a habit.

She looked at me and for a moment, her emotions were clouded. I narrowed my eyes, curious. "Alice?" I asked.

"It was nothing important." She quickly shook her head back and forth and almost instantly the only thing I could feel from her was happiness. I looked at her again, uncertain, but she laughed, assuring me that everything was as it should be.

"So, what next?" I asked. It was obvious that whoever it was we were looking for, I'd already forgotten their names, was her business and I was just along for the ride. Not that it was something I minded in the least. I would follow her anywhere.

"Next," she said, "we go steal a car."

She took my hand in hers and we were off, racing back towards the city.

A few seconds later we arrived in the city and she dropped my hand. I didn't say anything about it, but I wished she hadn't. For the first time in a long time, it felt nice to not be afraid of another vampire's touch. That, and there was something about Alice... I don't think I could put my finger on exactly what that was, even if I lived for a thousand years, but I liked it. Liked her.

We walked down the street at a leisurely human pace, appearing to the rest of the world as just another human couple. I would have said that no one noticed us as we passed by but that wasn't entirely true. Every man and every boy we passed stopped to look at Alice. I could tell she was uncertain about the attention, though she never showed it. I knew I would have to someday ask her why that was. But not today. Today, we had more pressing issues, such as finding a car.

Alice, of course, picked one of the nicest ones on the street, a brand new cherry red Cadillac. I didn't know much about cars, but this one was nice. And it looked like it was fast. It suited Alice perfectly.

She walked over to the car and tried to open the door. She tried a second time and this time added a pout to the act. I was about to ask her what she was doing when a tall, dark haired man, a policeman in uniform, walked over to her. The second he started walking towards her, I felt a growl rising in my throat. He wasn't putting out any troubling emotions, but it was hard to tell what that meant in this situation. He might have caught on to her and felt that such a thing was business as usual or, as the simplest explanation would suggest, he was simply walking towards what he assumed was a young girl having trouble with her car. I could feel an interest in her coming from him, much like I'd felt from the other men she'd passed by. When they didn't stop to talk to her it didn't bother me, but this? This bothered me. I didn't really have reason for it to bother me, but it did all the same. Even so, I continued to stand on the sidewalk, leaving Alice to her game.

Meanwhile, Alice carried on with her act, jerking at the door and pretending she was having trouble opening it. She stopped as soon as the policeman was close. She stared in at the car, obviously annoyed. I took a closer look at the car and could see the keys were still in the ignition and the door was locked.

The policeman was standing right behind Alice now and I knew she must have heard him, but she continued to play it up, sighing and staring at the keys.

"Locked yourself out have you?" said the policeman. His tone was friendly and a little bit teasing.

Alice turned to face him and nodded. "Unfortunately, yes." She smiled in a way so innocent that had an actual angel been there, even they would have had a hard time believing Alice was anything other than she appeared to be. "Do you think you could help me? I... I'm so embarrassed that this happened. I was just..." She shook her head. "Distracted, I suppose."

The man chuckled and nodded his head. "No need to feel embarrassed, ma'am. It happens all the time." He nodded across the street to his car. "I'll just go over to my car and see if I have anything I could use to help you out."

Alice nodded and waited patiently where she stood, her hands clasped together in front of her.

Behind me was the mouth of an alley and I slid into the shadows to avoid being seen. By now, it was probably beginning to look odd, me watching her the way I was. Besides, I could still see her and hear her from a few feet further away.

A second later, the policeman returned with a tool of some sort in his hands. He easily unlocked the door and Alice slid gracefully inside. She rolled down the window and thanked the policeman. He blushed, nodded and said, "I was only doing my duty, ma'am. You have a nice day now."

And with that, Alice turned the key in the ignition and started the car. She drove away, the policeman completely unsuspecting.

With most people, it probably wouldn't have worked. With most people, a policeman usually would have caught on, but not with Alice. With Alice, it worked like a charm. With her diminutive size and cute, perky appearance, almost no one would expect her to steal a car. They'd just expect, as the policeman had, that the car simply must have belonged to her.

I shook my head at the policeman and ran a few blocks ahead, following the sound of the car's engine and the scent of Alice. She stopped the car for a moment and I opened the door and jumped in the passenger seat. "Nicely done," I said.

She nodded and grinned an impish little grin. "Thank you."

About an hour out of town we stopped at a gas station. According to Alice, we needed to buy a map. I wasn't sure why, considering we didn't know the actual location of the vampires we were looking for, but Alice said we needed one, so we stopped. Once we stopped, Alice walked into the store attached to the gas station. I stayed outside but watched her and the young man at the till very closely.

That is, I watched her until I felt something equal to being hit by a bomb. It was anger, pure and hot as burning fire. Tangled and twisted around the anger was malice and desire, undoubtedly, to cause pain. I shuddered, repulsed by the emotion and looked around. I couldn't see, hear or smell anyone within distance except for Alice and the boy at the till and I knew it wasn't coming from either of them, especially not with the way the boy was grinning at Alice. And Alice... it wasn't her. I hadn't know her for long but already I knew she was almost completely incapable of such an emotion. I scanned the area a second time and still found nothing. Alice came outside a moment later, proudly waving a map in the air. The boy at the till had given it to her for free, though I wasn't exactly paying attention to her explanation of why. She got into the car, still talking about the map and I slid back into the passenger's seat. A few minutes and a few miles later, the feeling vanished. It didn't subside, like we were getting farther away from it, it just vanished like it had never been there in the first place. I shook my head and tried to pay attention to Alice – now she was on to talking about the vampires, the Cullens, and where she thought they might be.

A few hours and many miles later, silence dominated the small space inside the car. Alice had run out of things to say, though I was sure that was only temporary and I, as usual, didn't have much to say at all. Then, suddenly, Alice started tapping her fingers nervously against the steering wheel. I could feel concern and a touch of fear radiating from her.

"You're concerned. About what?" I spoke quietly.

She blushed, embarrassment taking over concern. "It's nothing."

"Obviously, it isn't." I reached out and put my hand delicately over hers. I paused a brief moment before adding, "But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

She turned to look at me then and smiled. It wasn't one of her usual silly, light hearted smiles, the kind she wore most of the time, but a simple and sweet one. "Thank you," she said softly.

When darkness fell, we started looking for motels to pull into for the night. It wasn't that either of us needed sleep, but as all vampires knew it was best to blend in as much as possible. And most people didn't drive straight through the night.

It took about an hour of looking but, finally, we found a nice little place between the edge of a forest and the outskirts of a small town neither of us had ever heard of.

We pulled up, parked and got out. We walked over to the front office together and got a room. I could feel the motel manager was uncomfortable with the two of us and I guessed it had something to do with our assumed age and lack of marital status but he didn't refuse us a room. It was more than a little obvious that the place didn't have and probably didn't get many customers. He walked us to one of the rooms at the back of the motel, near where we had parked the car and handed us a key. With a quick "have a nice stay" he turned on his heel and walked back to the front office.

We walked into the room and Alice made a bee-line for the shower, claiming that she hadn't showered in days and was desperate for one. I nodded and searched the room for something to do. A quick search showed there was nothing of interest in the room so instead, I went to lie down on the bed. The room was sparse and the furniture was gaining in years. It wasn't the nicest place but, all in all, it didn't matter very much.

I laid down on the bed and listened to the sound of the shower, the water dripping inconsistently. I listened for other sounds, sounds outside the room. I could hear the wind in the trees and all the little animals scurrying around in the forest. Then I heard another sound. The pulse of the motel manager. I shook my head and tried to focus on something else. Tried to focus on Alice and on how upset with me she'd be if I...

Before I knew it, I was on my feet and out the door. A second later I was in the main office, in front of the motel manager. He barely had time to look up at me before I grabbed him. He tried to scream, but before the sound passed his lips I covered his mouth with my hand. I ran out into the forest, the man in my grasp struggling and fighting to get free, fighting for his life. A part of my mind screamed furiously and demanded that I drop the man, but the rest of my mind was consumed by thirst. The deer I'd consumed earlier was nothing compared to the way this man's blood was singing. And the faster it rushed, the better it sounded, the more it encouraged me. I stopped a few miles away from the motel and held him up in one hand. The thirst consumed me, controlled me. It was everything and it was everywhere. I bit into the man's neck and drank his blood. I could feel the man's fear, his panic as he died a slow, painful death and a part of me, a part of me that would always remember this, was disgusted. But the rest of me was too absorbed in the taste, the smell of the blood to care.

When I was done, the man was a wreck. He was torn apart and there were bits of him strewn around on the forest floor. Then the thirst faded and I realized what I'd done, what I'd been unable, for even a single day, to stop myself from doing. I wanted to scream, but stopped myself. There was no one around to hear it, but at the same time, I didn't want to take that chance. That someone, that Alice, might hear me. Deftly, I dug a deep, deep hole and threw in all the parts of the man I could find. Forest kills were always the easiest. No one noticed, even if they walked over the exact spot, that the ground had been disturbed, that there was a body underneath the dirt.

Then I felt it again. That sickening feeling, full of rage and desire for destruction. Whoever that feeling was coming from was following us.

I returned to the room quickly. I stopped just in front of the door and wiped my sleeve across my face to wipe off the remainder of the blood from my latest victim. I could still feel it on my skin. It made every nerve underneath my skin hot and twitchy, but all I felt was disgusted. I took a quick half-second to look around, checking to see if I was being followed. It was useless, I knew that I was. I could feel it. The motel was a few miles away from where I'd just fed. There was no way I was still feeling it from all the way over there. Whoever it was was nearby and just like before I couldn't see, smell or hear them. The only reason I knew they were near, knew anyone was near, was because I could literally feel them, could feel what they were feeling.

I rested my head against the door for a moment, steeling myself. I really didn't like this. And worse, I feared it wasn't that they were chasing us but that they were chasing me. That I was putting Alice in danger. I'd have asked her to leave if I thought for one second she'd listen. I'd leave if I thought she'd do anything other than track me down. I let out a long sigh and put my hand on the doorknob. Just as I was about to turn the handle and open the door, it swung open. Alice was standing a step behind the door, her face shimmering in the dim light cast off by the lights in the parking lot not twenty feet behind me.

"Let me guess," she said, the corners of her lips twisting upward in the barest hint of a smile, "we're leaving in the middle of the night because you can't pay the bill for the room." In the time I'd been gone, she'd showered, fixed her hair and dressed. "I'm okay with that. I don't have any money either."

Before I had the chance to so much as say a word or even show an expression of any kind, she darted past me and towards the car. By the time I closed the door to the room and turned around, she was already sitting behind the steering wheel of the car, her hand on the horn. "Are you coming or what?"

I just shook my head and laughed.


	4. I Can't Help

_Oooh, I'm so bad ... forgetting to upload this yesterday! Sorry, sorry! And then IE and Chrome were annoying me. But, here it is. Hope you like it!_

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

**I Can't Help**

It didn't make a bit of sense. I had no idea why a cloaked vampire would suddenly begin appearing in my visions. He was a complete stranger to me but, whenever I saw him, he was in places that Jasper and I had only just left. He was following us, that much was clear. But did Jasper know that we were being followed? Is that why he had snuck away four times since he killed the motel manager; always coming back with his eyes still black even though he said he was leaving to hunt?

I sighed and wrapped my arms more tightly around my knees; compacting myself into the smallest, safest space in the passenger seat of our quite agreeable Cadillac. Jasper hadn't really wanted to drive; he claimed that he was from the time before cars and wouldn't be any good at it. But vampires have perfect reflexes and I had convinced him to give it a try. He was quite good.

I watched him closely. We had found a black leather jacket lying on a park bench in Pittsburgh and he wore it now with the collar turned up to hide his skin from the sun and passing motorists. His hands fit snuggly into a pair of black leather driving gloves and a black felt fedora was angled rakishly on his golden curls. His eyes, as black as his clothes, and the line of his mouth were tight with tension and intensity.

"Jasper?" I said quietly, curiously. "Is something wrong? I can drive again, if you really don't like it."

His eyes flashed to me. "No, Alice, nothing's wrong," he replied with the ghost of a smile. "You were right, though. I do like driving."

I couldn't help but smile back. Maybe I was worrying for nothing. "Well, I like it too," I laughed happily. "So we'll just have to take turns."

"Fair enough, ma'am," he agreed easily. "After all, you did do all the work to get the car. You haven't seen any changes in our course, have you?"

"Nothing lately," I admitted with a guarded sigh. I wasn't at all sure that I wanted to risk scaring Jasper away if he found out about our shadow. "So I guess we just keep heading west."

"West it is, then," he said, deftly passing a sputtering truck laden with crops from the Iowa farmlands we were passing through. He glanced at me with worry in his eyes. "I have to ask, Alice, is something bothering you?"

"Why?" I blurted it out before I could stop myself. "Nothing's bothering me, either."

"You're scared," he said, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. "And nervous. I don't understand. Isn't this what you wanted? I'm sorry if you're upset about the motel manager. I promise to be better."

"Oh, Jasper, it is what I want," I promised him quickly, reaching out tentatively to touch his arm. "I think maybe I'm just nervous about the future because I remember so little of the past. And I'm not upset about the motel manager. I've seen parts of our journey, Jasper. It won't always be easy. For either of us. But I know, I just know, that we can get through it together."

"We can?" he asked, doubt radiating from his velvet voice.

"If you want to," I said quietly, allowing him a way out if he wanted to take it. "If you don't want to, that's okay, too."

"I want to, Alice, I do. I promise you that." He paused and focused again on the road. "I just don't know if I can do it. But I trust you. Completely."

Why did he keep disappearing if he trusted me so much? It was all so confusing. You just don't hide things from people you trust completely.

"Completely?" I asked, trying to hide the skepticism from my voice and my emotions.

He nodded as sunlight streamed through the windshield and I instinctively tucked my chin deep into the collar of my royal blue felt coat. "I don't know why," he admitted slowly, "but I do trust you completely. I shouldn't, but I do."

I had known this process would be slow and even painful at times, so I would just have to take what I could get. Jasper trusted me. I could deal with that. I hoped.

I was only vaguely aware of Jasper pulling into a full-service though abandoned looking gas station and parking the car near a rusty, antiquated gas pump. I knew that a wrinkled old man in dusty denim overalls and a filthy white t-shirt would approach the car and begin to pump the gas before cleaning the windshield. I knew that Jasper would pay him with money that we had found in the pocket of the leather coat. And I knew that Jasper would drive away; the old man standing in a cloud of dust with blood still pumping in his veins. I had seen all this in a vision I had while we hunted so I knew it was safe to concentrate on other visions.

The cloaked stranger would visit the gas station after dark; he seemed to only travel at night. The old man in the overalls would not see morning.

I blinked back tears that I would never be able to shed. The old man would die because of us; no other reason than that we had been there would bring the end of his life. It wasn't fair at all.

"Alice?" Jasper asked softly, the concern all too evident in his voice.

"It's nothing," I lied quickly, hoping that my laugh seemed honest and true. "Nothing at all. Just the Cullens and more pine trees."

"I see." I could tell that he didn't really believe me. The human teenager in me was fine with that. He was keeping things from me, why shouldn't I keep things from him? "That reminds me, Alice. If we keep driving straight west, we'll cross through the flat, open prairie states and it will be harder and harder to hunt and to travel by day. Not to mention find pine trees. So I was thinking that perhaps we should head north into Minnesota and then maybe follow the Canadian border for awhile. What do you think?"

"Perfect idea," I agreed happily as I forced myself to project happiness to him. I pulled out the map I had bought in Illinois and twirled my finger around. "If we start north at the next chance, the Yellow River State Park should be an excellent place to hunt and then we can move on to Minnesota."

"To Yellow River State Park then, ma'am," Jasper announced with an exaggerated accent.

It was twilight when we found the park. A small herd of deer wouldn't be passing through for a few more hours so we walked, hand-in-hand, to the banks of the river. I spread my felt coat over a fallen log; I didn't want to get my ivory cream and blue striped chambray cotton dress dirty or snagged, and folded my legs underneath me as I sat on the log. Jasper sat at the other end of the log, his posture military perfect and his hands folded in his lap.

"May I ask you something?" I asked as I folded my hands in my lap.

"You answered all of my questions in Philadelphia," he said with a smile that seemed sad, "the least I can do is answer as many of yours as I can. Why did you wait so long to ask, though?"

I shrugged my small shoulders and sighed. "I decided a few times to ask, but then I saw how much it upset you so I waited. There were a few times you even would have been so upset that you would have left. I didn't want that. Besides, I'm patient."

"That might just be the understatement of your existence, my darling," he said with a chuckle. "You did wait twenty-eight years for me, after all."

Every fiber of my frozen body tingled when he called me 'my darling'. I wondered if he even realized he said it; he seemed so lost in thought. "I'll always wait for us," I murmured shyly but honestly as I stared at my hands.

"I know that," he murmured just as quietly though he still seemed sad about something. He looked up quickly and his face transformed into a smile. "Now, about your questions, what is it you'd like to know?"

"I won't ask you about Maria," I promised him quietly. "I know you aren't ready to talk about that. I'll stick to asking about Jasper Whitlock before Maria and Jasper Whitlock after Maria. Is that okay?"

"Thank you for saying that. It's more than okay," he said, turning to look at me for the first time. "It is broad, though. What do you want to know?"

"What were your parents names? Did you have any siblings? Was your family mad when you joined the Confederate Army? Why did you join? What was your childhood like?" I cringed as the questions tumbled from my mouth. The last thing I wanted to do was overwhelm him. "Sorry."

"Don't be," he said with a low chuckle, nudging my head back up from its bowed position with his fingers. "No one has shown half the interest in me that you do in my entire existence, living or undead. It's kind of nice."

"I might just be living vicariously through you, you know," I cautioned him, slowly reaching up and catching his hand in mine. I couldn't help myself; I pressed his hand to my cheek. "Not remembering my human life makes me a little desperate to know about the human lives of others."

"That's okay, too," he said with a smile, only slightly tense as his hand rested against my cheek. "My parents were Thomas and Margaret Whitlock. I had one younger sister. Her name was Mariah. She died three years ago in Cincinnati; I found her obituary in a newspaper when I was in Kentucky. She was 100. Almost immortal, right?"

I watched as clouds of sadness danced across his dark eyes and wondered if he envied Mariah, her long, probably happy life and her release to something else, maybe better, in death.

He shook his head, bringing himself back to the moment. "As to my short, sweet military career, my sister cried for days. My mother was upset when I joined the army. After all, I was her only son and I lied about my age to get in. Plus, my father had left her with two young children when he went to war. He, on the other hand, couldn't have been more proud, especially when I reached the rank of major. He had fought in the Mexican-American War from 1846 to 1848. He was decorated for bravery and valor by General Taylor. I was his only son. It was pretty much a given that I would join.

As to my childhood," he continued wistfully, "I don't really remember that much. Human memories are very fuzzy in a vampire mind. If you don't think about them all the time, they will fade in time until you have to struggle very hard to remember them or you forget them completely. I must have had a good childhood, though. I remember trying to think about it when I was first changed. But it hurt too much to compare carefree summer days playing with my friends outside the schoolhouse to what I had to do in my new life. So I stopped. Maybe something will come back to me, now that I'm with you. If it does, I'll tell you then."

I hoped, for Jasper's sake and for my own, that something would come back to him. I hoped that I could make him happy enough to want to remember playing outside the schoolhouse and spending Christmas with his sister. I had found my purpose, then. I would make Jasper happy, no matter what it took.

"I'm going to hold you to that, Major Whitlock," I vowed, smiling just the same as I tucked my legs under me and scooted closer to him.

"I wish you would do just that, Miss Alice," he drawled back with a grin. "I really do."

I wrapped my small hands around his larger hand and squeezed tightly; I hoped he could feel how very, very happy I was just then.

"You are so easily pleased, ma'am. Isn't there anything that could make you unhappy?" His question told me that he had felt my happiness. I was ecstatic.

"You don't want to make me unhappy, do you?" I asked, teasing and worry combining quickly in my mind. "Because the only thing that could truly make me unhappy would be if I was alone again. Without you."

I felt Jasper tense but he didn't pull his hand away. "I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make sure that you, Alice, never have reason to be unhappy," he promised solemnly before he forced himself to laugh softly. "Do you have more questions? After Maria questions, I believe you called them."

I didn't like it one bit that he had so quickly and easily changed the subject. It worried me. But going with the flow of things seemed the best course of action at the moment. Nothing in my visions had told me otherwise.

"After you left Maria," I said, his hand still clutched in mine, "I saw you with two people. They seemed like friends. But I could never figure out who they were."

"Peter and Charlotte." He stared into the rapidly darkening forest as he said their names. "Peter was the second longest surviving member of Maria's army. I was first; seventy odd years. He was all of three years a vampire when he escaped."

"Why did he escape?" I asked eagerly. "How?"

"I wish you didn't have to ask that, but you deserve to know," Jasper sighed wearily; if a vampire could be weary. "Maria built armies. It's safe to say that the turnover rate was extremely high.

Peter and I were destroying the oldest of the army; the year olds. I called Charlotte's name as the next to be destroyed. He screamed at her to run. I reached out to stop her and he jumped between us, teeth barred, ready to die so that she could live." As he told the story, his voice went from a mechanical recitation to a quiet awe.

"He wasn't angry, though. He was desperate. And in love. I could feel those things from him. And from her. I looked him in the eyes and nodded. He motioned for Charlotte to go. She mouthed 'thank you.' He asked me to come with them. But I couldn't. Not because of loyalty to Maria. No. I couldn't go because I was too important to Maria. She would have hunted me. And maybe killed them. I couldn't have that. So I nodded again and turned my back on them.

Anyway," he sighed after a long pause, "Peter came back for me five years later. He told me about the quiet, peaceful life that he and Charlotte had found in the North. So I went with him. I was desperate. But it didn't work out very well. My depression after feeding was torture for them, not that they'd ever admit it. So I left them."

I blinked patiently at him, not moving or speaking, in case there was something else he wanted to say.

He smiled at me and lifted my hand to his lips. "And then I found you," he whispered softly.

I scooted even closer, my knees were touching his leg. He wasn't ready for what I really wanted to do, I had seen that. So I slowly pulled my hand away from him. I kissed the palm of my hand. And then I pressed the spot I had just kissed back against his lips.

My entire body tingled again when he wrapped his fingers around my hand, pressing it all the more firmly to his lips. I watched as he closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath.

We stayed just like that, statues in the forest, for two hours.

I finished hunting before Jasper. He was enjoying having to work so hard to catch a meal and he needed more than I could ever dream of drinking. So I sat on a log and searched the future.

What I saw sent a stab of pain through me that was worse than I could have ever imagined. All of the hope and happiness of the afternoon was completely erased or, at least, it would be soon.

Jasper was going to leave me.


	5. Falling In Love

_Sorry it's a day later again...maybe we should just switch to Friday postings, lol! But one of us is moving so one of us was late filling in. Sorry!_

_Hope you like it!_

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

**Falling In Love**

Once I'd finished hunting, I walked back towards Alice. From approximately thirty feet away I could feel it - she was tense. But even without my powers it would have been noticeable, even with as hard as she was trying to hide it and it was apparent that she wasn't her usual, cheery self. I slowed my pace to an almost human one, trying to figure out why she might be so concerned.

And then the idea struck me. Maybe she knew. Since that second time I'd sensed we were being followed I'd started to question whether my being with Alice was the right thing to do. It was almost a complete certainty that whoever it was had no interest in her. But if I stayed with her, she would likely get caught in the crossfire. So I'd been sneaking off when I could and trying to come up with a plan of action. So far, I hadn't been able to come up with much more than knowing that I had to leave to protect her. I'd tried to come up with other plans, other ideas, but none would have guaranteed her safety. And besides, what would happen if I told her everything? What would happen if I told her I was being followed and she still wanted to be with me after even that? Even if we managed to get rid of this threat, then what? It could happen again. And I didn't want to be the reason something happened to her.

But maybe she'd seen it. She had visions often and usually didn't tell me exactly what the content of those visions were. Usually, if I asked her, she'd tell me it was something to do with the Cullens, a new scene to do with a wedding, pine trees or mountains. But I wasn't sure if what she told me was really what she'd seen or if she was hiding something from me.

I almost wanted to be angry at her for it, for keeping something from me, but I couldn't be. I was keeping something from her and so I had no right to be angry if she did the same.

As I approached her, I tried to smile. I failed. Earlier in the afternoon things had been... the only way to describe it is to say that if heaven exists, that was exactly what I would have picked for it to be. An eternity with her, just like that. But sadly, I am almost certain that heaven does not exist because, even as perfect as the afternoon had been, they would come back. I knew it. Whoever, whatever it was that was following me, they would come back. Part of why the afternoon had been so perfect was that I hadn't sensed that vampire all afternoon, but they would, without a doubt, come back.

"Would you like to drive this time?" I asked. Again, I tried to smile at her, but it didn't quite work. She gave me a funny look then, one of curiosity and desperation and fear. The words "Are you alright?" sprang to my lips so quickly it took actual effort not to say them out loud.

She took a split second, then nodded. "Sure. Driving would be nice," she said, her voice flat. I reached out my hand to help her up, but she ignored it. She got to her feet, had her coat on in an instant and the next second was walking off in the direction of where we'd parked the car. I paused for a moment, watching as she got farther and farther away. She was almost halfway there before I started running to catch up.

When I reached the car she was already sitting in the driver's seat, her hands gripping the wheel so hard I was almost certain the steering wheel would snap under her seemingly delicate hands. As soon as she saw me, she loosened her grip and tried to smile. It didn't come off quite right and it ended up looking more like a grimace than a smile. I got into the passenger side and shut the door.

For miles, neither of us said anything. I could tell she was suspicious of something, but I still was uncertain about what she knew. I was, if it were possible for a vampire to do so, dying to ask her why she was so suspicious, to ask her what it was that was bothering her. But I couldn't. Not without her asking some questions of her own, questions I couldn't answer. So instead, I kept my mouth shut and stared out the side window.

Some time later, we drove through a small town and just as we passed the town's only hotel, I suggested we stop for the night. I could tell that the idea made Alice nervous, but she agreed and claimed it was a good idea because she needed to shower. We parked the car and walked inside. As soon as we stepped inside it was obvious that this hotel was significantly nicer than the one from the previous night and had obviously recently undergone a major renovation.

Alice walked to the front desk in the back of the lobby and quietly booked us a room. She did not, as she usually would have, chat with the front desk attendant. Instead, she simply reserved a room and paid with the last of the money we'd found in the jacket I was currently wearing. I remained a few steps behind, paying attention to anything and everything but the man at the front desk. Alice was handed our room key and without saying a word, started walking down the hall. I followed.

When we got inside the room Alice walked directly to the bathroom and opened the door. Before walking inside she turned and faced me. She stood there for a moment, just staring at me. I felt like a deer in the headlights, caught completely unaware and with no idea what to do about it. I opened my mouth to say something but before I could find the words she turned around and walked into the bathroom. I sighed as I heard the door click shut.

I paced up and down the room three times before walking over to the desk that sat against the side wall. I was going to have to do this now, before she had the chance to notice. I found a pad of paper and a pen inside one of the desk drawers and without bothering to sit down, started writing. I knew what I had to do but, at the same time, I didn't want her to think that I had left her because I didn't care. It was selfish and I knew it, but I did it anyway.

I crumpled up three separate notes before finally managing to get the words right.

I wrote:

Alice, I'm sorry for what I said to you. I want you to know that none of it was true. Not a word. You are, truly, the most wonderful girl I've ever met. I did not want to leave you, but I was left with no other choice. Leaving was the only way I could protect you.

Please, don't try to find me. I'm not worth it. Please, continue searching for the Cullens. I promise you I'm not worth it.

I wasn't sure how to end the note, so I simply signed my name.

But even that sounded wrong. It sounded cheap and like I didn't care for her at all. So, just as I heard the water get shut off and the shower curtain being pushed back, I hastily scrawled "I won't ever forget you, Alice." between the end of the note, where I'd signed my name. But even that seemed fake and more than utterly useless. But I was out of time, what I'd written would have to do. I shoved the note back in the drawer and hoped she'd find it.

A moment later, she came out of the bathroom, fully dressed with her hair still damp and looking more cautious now than ever before.

She looked at me like she was trying to decide what to say. By this point I was certain she must have known but even then, I hoped all she'd seen was me leaving her, and not why I was leaving her. If she didn't believe I really wanted to leave, she'd never let me go.

"Alice?" I asked, not having to fake the distress in my voice. I did not want to have to leave her and I was terrified.

Instead of saying anything, she simply nodded.

"I'm sorry, Alice, but I..." I stopped short and took a step towards the door. "I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't."

She looked at me, her face blank and for a moment I wondered if I really had managed to surprise her. But then she spoke. "I know."

I had suspected she might have seen something happen, but I wasn't expecting this. She didn't look mad at me at all. She simply looked resigned. Like she was prepared to wait another twenty-eight years for me. This wasn't going to work.

"And don't bother me again, okay? I can't handle this." As I spoke I worked my powers, sending waves of anger towards her, moulding them around her.

It worked. Her face crumpled into a snarl and she growled rather than said, "What?"

"You. I can't do this with you. You've planned out the rest of eternity and I can barely deal with the thought of tomorrow. I was just minding my own business then all of a sudden I'm thrown into this... this..." I made a motion with my hands like I didn't know how to finish that sentence. And I kept at it, fuelling her anger.

"You... you... I thought... I thought that you..." she rambled, her hands clenching into fists so tightly that her skin made a distinct cracking noise. "So, what, all those things you said, everything that's happened, this entire afternoon, all that was a lie?"

I nodded succinctly. "Yes." I kept it going, but by this point I knew it wasn't necessary. She was angry in her own right. And I was beginning to hope she never found my note, that she would just forget about me and go on with her life. She deserved so much more than I could ever hope to offer her.

"That's all you've got to say? You lied to me, led me on and that's all you've got to say?" She was practically screaming at me now, her face contorted in rage and agony.

"My intention was not to lead you on, I just didn't know what else to do with you. I don't know what to do with you now," I twisted my face into a look of near disgust. I had to make sure she thought I couldn't stand her. I couldn't bear for her to learn the truth, that I knew I was lucky to have met her and that the world simply wasn't kind enough to allow me to spend another day with her, let alone eternity.

"Well," she said, clearly working hard to keep her voice level, "I guess my vision of you was wrong. I was wrong. You are not who I thought you were. All you are is a worthless, pitiful snake."

I shrugged and turned quickly towards the door. If it was possible for a vampire to cry, I would have been doing just that. I jerked the door open and walked out. A second later, I was standing outside of the hotel. I waited there for another second, making sure the anger I'd so carefully planted hadn't faded once I'd left the room. It hadn't. Actually, it was building. I looked back at the hotel one last time and ran as fast as I could back the direction we'd come.

I ran down the road for about twenty miles before turning off and finding a clearing in the woods nearby. I stopped and waited. It took over an hour but gradually I began to feel it, that searing, red hot mixture of anger and desire. Once it was close enough that I could feel it as well as if they were standing right beside me, I called out, "Whoever you are, show yourself. I'm tired of running."

A moment later not one, not two, but three cloaked individuals stepped into the clearing. One was tall and bulky and the other two were much shorter and much smaller. The other two were so small, in fact, that they appeared to be only children. I could not see their faces but I could sense which one the emotion I by now knew so well was coming from. It was coming from the small one on the left. I looked at the vampire more closely and from the delicate, slight frame guessed the vampire hiding under the large hood of the cloak was a girl. I took a step back then, shocked. It bothered me to see, to feel, that kind of evil coming from someone so small. I then realized, and I should have known all along, that it was stupid to think of this vampire as being a child for she easily could have been older than I was. Still, regardless of age, I couldn't help feeling that it was just innately wrong for that sort of feeling to be coming from anyone, let alone someone who at the very least appeared to be a young girl.

The three lowered their hoods in a single, unified movement and that was when I noticed it. None of these vampires had been either members or creators of any of the armies I'd fought. I'd made sure to memorize the faces of every single combatant. And these three had not been in any of those armies. It would have been possible for them to be new, but upon closer inspection of their eyes, I found this to be impossible. I had spent more than enough time around newborns and newborns had very bright, very vivid red eyes. These vampires, all three of them, had eyes the color of deep burgundy. It was the kind of eye color that only occurred if a vampire had been drinking copious amounts of human blood for a very long time. They weren't leaders of any army, either. Their skin was pure and unmarked in a way that only vampires that had never fought in battle achieved.

And then the girl smiled, though her smile was the exact opposite of Alice's. Where Alice's smile was kind and cheerful, this girl's was malicious and cruel. "Jasper. We've been looking for you," was all she said to me.

It was stupid, but the only thing I could think to ask was, "Why?"

"You'll find out in due time." Then the small girl nodded at the other boy and only then did I notice that they looked so alike that he must have been her brother.

The boy, who up to this point had looked uninterested in me, raised his head and stared directly at me. I knew I should have looked away but his gaze held me. Suddenly, I felt rooted to the spot, as if I couldn't move even if I'd wanted to. I tried to look away, tried to close my eyes, but it was of no use. I could not tear my gaze away from his. And the longer I looked, the worse I felt. A freezing, biting feeling spread throughout my body, starting at my fingertips and spreading until it encompassed every single part of me. At that moment, all I wanted in the world was for the feeling, the pain, to stop.

And then it did and I regretted ever wishing for it to stop. Because when it stopped, everything else stopped with it. I couldn't feel and I couldn't see. I was left alone inside my own mind and even now it was beginning to feel as if even my own mind was fading away, like I was fading away.

The last thing I distinctly remember thinking was that no matter what happened to me, it was worth it. Because Alice was safe.


	6. Shall I Stay?

_Woot! We remembered to update on Thursday! Yay!_

_Hope you're still hanging in there with us..._

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><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

**Shall I Stay?**

_Alice, I'm sorry for what I said to you. I want you to know that none of it was true. Not a word. You are, truly, the most wonderful girl I've ever met. I did not want to leave you, but I was left with no other choice. Leaving was the only way I could protect you._

_Please, don't try to find me. I'm not worth it. Please, continue searching for the Cullens. I promise you I'm not worth it._

"Not worth it," I muttered as I folded Jasper's note for the thousandth time and kissed it before putting it carefully into the pocket of my blue felt coat. "In your dreams, Major Whitlock."

It had been almost two months since Jasper deliberately made me angry and disappeared into the night.

And I had been very angry. More angry than he could ever have made me. I was angry at myself, all by myself without a bit of help from him. Angry that I hadn't told Jasper what I had seen; there was no doubt in my mind that whatever I had seen was the reason that Jasper left. If I had told him, maybe he wouldn't have been able to leave so easily. So I sat on the bed in that hotel room as my anger grew and grew, listening to the blood pump through the veins of the man in the next room. I had seen him in the lobby when I reserved our room. So, to distract myself, I checked his future. When he got home from his business trip, he was going to beat his wife and son. That made me even more angry; I had to save his family from that.

I killed him. His blood tasted better than I imagined it would. But I hated myself for it. So I went deep into the woods of northern Minnesota to make sure that I wouldn't be tempted to take another human life.

There, in the peace and quiet with trees and deer as my only company, I had a lot of time to think, see and consider the things that were essential parts of my life.

I had been afraid to talk to Jasper and I lost him.

Or so I thought.

I tried desperately to summon a vision of myself, somewhere in the future, happy and without Jasper. It was what Jasper had asked me to do. It was impossible.

I saw myself racing over more snow and ice than I had ever seen. Why would I do that? I saw myself swimming across the Atlantic Ocean and I didn't know where I was going. I saw myself in the Italy I knew only from the posters in the windows of travel agencies. What was in Italy that I could possibly want? And I saw myself racing through an unfamiliar forest, happier than I could have ever imagined being. But I didn't know why I was happy.

There was a single common thread in every vision of my future.

So I gave up. My future was Jasper. I just had to find him.

It came to me two weeks after he left. I saw, unasked, that Jasper's friends Peter and Charlotte were looking for me. And I, I was looking for them. They would help me find Jasper.

So I ran north. Snow and ice would be in the north. Peter and Charlotte were surrounded by snow and ice.

I found them after ten days of searching. And it was a good thing, if you could call it that, that I had slipped and killed the man at the hotel. Just before I found them, I saw that they would be much more trusting of me with my still slightly red eyes than if I had suddenly appeared before them perfectly golden.

I wanted to be furious when Peter informed me that Jasper had mailed them a letter to the post office boxes that they kept in various cities, asking them to be on the lookout for me and to help me find the Cullens. I really did want to be furious, but I couldn't. It was weirdly sweet that he was trying to protect me after leaving me all alone.

As soon as I had mentioned seeing Italy to Peter, I hadn't even described the people I had seen yet, he grabbed both Charlotte and I by the hands and dragged us across the snowy expanse of northern Canada. It was Charlotte who finally succeeded in forcing him to stop outside of St. John's, Newfoundland. He hadn't said a word since I found them on the southern shores of Hudson Bay in Manitoba.

But it was sunny now on the fall shores of the Atlantic Ocean and we had to stop. Peter would have to explain himself.

"Peter!" Charlotte snarled as Peter paced restlessly on the cliffs. "Where are we going? You have to talk to us. You have to tell us where we're going. Or we're not going any further."

"If either of you, especially you," he looked pointedly at me, "want to ever see Jasper again, you'll go further."

Charlotte stomped her foot impatiently, leaving a dent in the hard ground. "That was not an explanation!" she snapped as she stood in front of him and wouldn't let him move.

I stood back and watched all of this with interest. I was going to have to remember how she blocked him from going around her and demanded his attention for the next time Jasper got a silly idea about leaving to keep me safe from things he didn't know I knew existed.

"I'm sorry, Char," he sighed in defeat before looking past his mate to me. "Alice? The people you saw in your visions, did they wear long black or dark gray hooded cloaks?"

I nodded that they had.

"Can you describe them any more than that?" he asked me gently; Charlotte had allowed him to approach me but she stayed by his side.

"One was the size of a child, maybe smaller than me. The face wasn't clear because it was always night," I explained quickly, relieved to have someone to share my burden with. "But I think it might have been a female. Another was a little bit bigger. I think he was male because his chest was broader and more bulky. And the third one was taller, not too tall, though. I think it was also male because of his build. I saw his profile. He had a very angular face."

Peter sunk into a crouch on the grass next me. "It was a Volturi tracking party," he announced with a grim laugh. "Sent specifically for Jasper."

"Why would the Volturi want Jasper?" Charlotte gasped, linking her fingers through mine, though I had no idea why.

"I don't know, Charlotte. But black hooded cloaks, a tiny female, angular male…," his voice trailed off. "It only makes sense. It has to be Jane, probably her brother Alec and, of course, Demetri, the greatest tracker in our world."

"Do you think he's been destroyed already?" Charlotte asked quietly. "Are we already too late?"

"I honestly don't know," Peter admitted painfully. "I suppose it depends on what the Volturi wanted him for. Caius would certainly like his ability to manipulate emotions in a battle. But perhaps they found out about his role in the Southern Wars. It depends."

Volturi. Tracking party. Jane. Alec. Demetri. Greatest tracker in our world. Destroyed. Caius. Battle. Wars.

My head was spinning out of control. It was too much for even my vampire mind to process.

"Stop!" I shouted as quietly as it was possible to shout without becoming totally panicked, which was probably futile at the moment. "I don't know what you're talking about! I know that the Volturi are the rulers of the vampire world. Why would they be tracking Jasper? Why would they destroy him? I thought they only destroyed those of us who broke the rules. What rules did Jasper break?"

Charlotte put her arms around me, not holding me back, though, just hugging me. "I'm so sorry, Alice," she whispered. "We were terrible to forget that you aren't as experienced as us and that Jasper's your mate."

I forgave her instantly. She seemed so honest and true, it was impossible to not forgive her. And she had called Jasper my mate.

"Do you really think he's my mate?" I whispered nervously.

"Absolutely," she smiled at me. "He said in the letter that you waited twenty-eight years for him. And now you're willing to search out vampires you don't know to try and save him from something that is completely foreign to you. Anyone can see that you are Jasper's mate. He needs you so very badly."

I smiled tentatively back at her. "You think I'm right to go after him, then?"

"Without a doubt," she said confidently. "I didn't know Jasper well in Maria's army but I knew him when he traveled with me and Peter. For those years, it was so hard to watch him. He claimed it was because he was depressed by the feelings of the humans he had to kill. But it was more than that. He was lonely and lost. For him to write to us the way he did about you, he's not lost anymore, Alice. We just have to find him and get him back to you."

In our first conversation, one of Jasper's two friends that I knew of thought I was his mate. The only thing that would have made the moment perfect would have been to have Jasper standing next to me when she said it.

"He's not going to have to be depressed about killing humans anymore, you know," I announced because I was desperate that our conversation not be over. And I didn't need to know the details of why the Volturi might be tracking Jasper. I didn't want to know. It only mattered that I get him back.

Charlotte blinked at me. Great. Now she thought I was crazy. Apparently, Jasper hadn't mentioned my diet ideas.

"I know my eyes are red now," I said quickly to ease the damage. "Because I was so mad at myself over letting Jasper leave that I killed a human. But it was only my second human. I hunt animals and drink their blood. So my eyes are usually yellow."

Charlotte was still blinking in confusion at me. "Why do you do that?" she asked slowly.

"I don't like feeding on humans." I shrugged my shoulders as I gave the simplest answer possible. "And animal blood works just as good. I don't mean there's anything wrong with feeding on humans. Please don't think I'm judging you. It's just personal preference."

"I don't know why, but I know you're not judging me," Charlotte said, more coherent now. "You just seem too nice to be doing that. But can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can, Charlotte," I gushed quickly before I could stop myself. "I want us to be friends because you mean something to Jasper. So ask me anything at all."

"We will be friends, Alice," she assured me just as sounding just as gushy. "I don't see the future, but I know it. I just wanted to know how you came up with the idea to hunt animals. It never would have even occurred to me."

"That's easy," I chirped happily. "I saw a vision of a family of vampires who hunt animals instead of humans. The coven leader is actually a doctor for humans. Jasper and I were looking for them because I saw us joining their family."

I smiled at her. "Jasper mentioned them in his letter, didn't he?"

"He did. He said that you were looking for them and that we should help you, if we knew of them. But he didn't say that they hunted animals," she admitted with a disbelieving shake of her head.

"I'm not looking for them without Jasper," I warned her. "I join them with Jasper at my side or I don't join them at all."

"And you're worried that the two of you aren't mates," Peter scoffed, speaking for the first time in some time. "We do know of the Cullens, though."

"You do?" I could barely believe my super accurate vampire ears. I had been starting to worry that the Cullens were merely a figment of my imagination. "Really?"

"We met Edward briefly not too long after we escaped from Maria's army," Peter explained with a much more friendly demeanor. "He had red eyes then, but he told us about how he had lived with Carlisle Cullen, who had never tasted human blood since his change in the 1640s. Honestly, we thought he was crazy but he did seem rather conflicted about what color he wanted his eyes to be."

"He's decided that he wants them to be yellow," I announced confidently. "There are two more in the family now, too."

"That's good," Charlotte said with a small smile. I liked her small but honest smile. "It seemed like that is what he really wanted. Anyway, we met him before we went back and got Jasper out so please don't think that Jasper was keeping something from you."

"And now we have to and get Jasper out of another bad situation," Peter sighed dramatically. I knew that he was trying to keep my spirits up now and I was very grateful for that. "I need to hunt before we swim the Atlantic. Charlotte?"

"I'm fine," she said, putting an arm around me. I knew that she was staying with me to keep me from being alone and I was grateful for that, too. "I'm still full from just before Alice found us. You should get some heavy duty plastic bags to put our things in while you're in town."

"You should think about hunting, Alice," Peter said as he prepared to leave. "Animals, of course. But it's a long swim and it can take a lot out of you."

I shook my head. "No, thank you. I was trying to get my eyes golden again and I drank so much that I still think I'd burst if I drank another drop. I'll hunt when we get to Europe, if that's alright."

"As you wish," he said before disappearing into the forest.

Charlotte and I sat silently in the grass and watched the ocean. I think she knew that I didn't really want to talk anymore so she didn't press me to talk. I was relieved that Peter had left us alone; he was a very imposing presence. I liked him, he was important to Jasper, but after our forced run across Canada, I needed a break from him.

So I did what I had been trying very hard not to do over the last few days. I tried to see the future. I wasn't at all sure that I wanted to see what the future might hold. But I had to.

Jasper knelt in front of three throne-like chairs as Peter, Charlotte and I were led into a large, open, well lit chamber. The three from my visions stood to the left of a platform. The three men on the thrones had skin that looked as delicate as onionskin. Their eyes were a deep burgundy. One seemed entirely disinterested in everything that was going on around him, another seemed angry and intense and the last seemed slightly carefree but the most dangerous.

It was strange. That was the only one of my visions that was entirely silent. No one seemed to speak or, if they did, I couldn't hear them. But that was alright with me. Jasper would be there when I arrived. That was what was important to me.

_Alice, I'm sorry for what I said to you. I want you to know that none of it was true. Not a word. You are, truly, the most wonderful girl I've ever met. I did not want to leave you, but I was left with no other choice. Leaving was the only way I could protect you._

_Please, don't try to find me. I'm not worth it. Please, continue searching for the Cullens. I promise you I'm not worth it._

"Not worth it," I muttered as I folded Jasper's note for the thousandth time and kissed it before putting it carefully into the pocket of my blue felt coat. "In your dreams, Major Whitlock."


	7. Would It Be A Sin?

_Ack. Totally forgot to update on time again! Definitely a fail. But hopefully you will like this chapter all the same! And maybe even leave a review? We'd appreciate that so, so much! _

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><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

** Would It Be A Sin?**

I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes, praying that it could be that easy to just shut the emotions out.

I'd been trapped in Volterra for... I'd lost count. And it wasn't that I'd been there for so long that I'd simply lost count but that every single day I was trapped in this place, this wretched, awful place, felt like an eternity. So I'd simply stopped counting the days.

Everyone here was so malevolent. They never acted anything less than courteously towards me, but it didn't matter how they acted. I could feel it. I could always feel it. And it wasn't that these destructive, terrible emotions were aimed at me. It was quite the opposite, it was always aimed at the humans and ever since I'd been here I couldn't understand why. There was nothing terribly interesting about humans, nothing terribly great or evil. And yet every single vampire here hated them passionately.

I sighed.

I could feel her approaching me now. Jane. She was one of the worst of them all. There was never a single pleasant emotion from her and now was no different.

"Jasper." She spoke and even without my gift, it would have been easy to tell that she was already bored with me even though I hadn't so much as spoken a single word.

I cracked open my eyes slowly and stood up straight. "Yes?" My manners dictated I refer to her as "ma'am" but it was awkward. She was many, many years older than me and yet... she looked like a child. I never knew what to do around her.

"Aro wants to see you." As soon as she'd finished speaking, not a split-second later, she continued walking down the hall, away from me.

I sighed again and paused for a brief moment. I hated speaking to Aro. He was always so unpredictable. I was never able to gauge what he might or might not do based on his emotions like I was able to do with others. For the most part, there was just this sick glee that I was unable to see through. It was unnerving.

I straightened up and began walking towards the throne room where Aro would undoubtedly be. On my way there I passed through a long, narrow hallway full of large, open windows. I paused a moment to look out at the small city below and couldn't help but notice a young couple walking along the sidewalk not far from the castle. They were holding hands and seemed completely entranced by each others company. For the briefest of moments, I allowed myself to think of Alice. I missed her more than I would have ever thought was possible. It physically hurt to be away from her and I wanted nothing more than to escape this place and find her again. But then what? Suppose I did escape? What would I do? Go back to her, put her in danger again?

No. I shook my head, my moment of weakness gone. I would not allow that. No, I would stay here and by staying here I would protect her.

I was only a few steps away from the back doors of the throne room now. I took a deep breath and opened them swiftly, silently.

I walked into the throne room to find Aro standing in front of rather than sitting in his throne. There was another vampire kneeling in front of him. I could sense immense fear coming from the other vampire, a tall, shifty-eyed man with long, lanky hair. He looked liked he hadn't showered or changed his clothes in weeks, maybe months. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing in the throne room of the all-powerful Volturi.

Aro turned to face me, a wide, teeth-baring smile on his thin mouth. "Ah, Jasper." He was always so pleased to see me. That was more unnerving than his never ending pleasure in causing others pain. It always felt like he was testing me, like he had some greater plan for me that I just couldn't understand. I did not like being this way, being under someone else's control.

I, as usual, did not know what to say to him, so instead I simply nodded.

"This vampire here," Aro waved graciously at the man before us, "says that he has news of a potential rival coven. I was wondering..." his eerie smile split even wider, "could you tell me if he's lying? It's always so hard to tell."

I never understood the way he spoke, like there was some great joke and he was the only one who knew the punch line. Again, I simply nodded. I turned to the other vampire and stared at him. I looked into his eyes and found very little depth there. He, like so many of our kind, came here seeking only revenge. Whatever he had said, I doubted there was any truth to it.

I turned back to Aro and said briefly, "I don't believe he's telling the truth."

This time Aro nodded. "Thank you, Jasper. That will be all. Unless, of course you'd like to help me with this one."

I very nearly shuddered at the idea but managed to maintain my composure. "No, thank you."

"Ah, well, more for me I suppose." Aro cracked his knuckles as he spoke, already preparing. The vampire in front of us gulped audibly. He didn't try to run, didn't try to beg for his life. He knew he was done for and had given up any hope of survival. The strongest emotion I could feel from him now was no longer that of anger and desire for retribution but regret. I wondered if it was regret for having come here in the first place or regret that he hadn't succeeded in his goal. Ultimately it was irrelevant either way because his fate was sealed regardless of how he felt about the matter.

I left the room hastily. I had no desire to see Aro kill yet another vampire. Whether or not the vampire had been telling the truth, whether or not he had wanted an other's destruction, I was not entirely convinced he deserved his fate and as such wanted no part in it.

I stalked off to the room they'd given me, though I could never quite bring myself to refer to it as being mine. Almost unconsciously I rubbed at my throat. I was deathly thirsty. Aro, and others, kept trying to force me to feed on humans, but I resisted. It was pointless really, considering that I would very likely never see Alice again and so would never be joining the Cullens, but I continued on with it anyway. I wish I could have said that every time they tried to get me to feed I resisted, but that was not the case. I did, however, resist more times than I gave in. I only hoped that counted for something. Even so, it left me very hungry and since I was not allowed to venture past the castle walls, I could not go outside to hunt. I passed a mirror and avoided looking into it. I did not have any desire to see how terrible I must have looked.

I reached the bedroom and walked inside, slamming the door behind me. I laid down on the opulent leather couch they'd placed in the room for me, wishing now more than ever that I wasn't what I was even just so I could sleep. So I could sleep and be unconscious for a while, so I could sleep and escape this place, if only in my dreams. I wanted to be able to dream so badly. I wanted to dream of Alice, to be near her again somehow.

I shook my head again. I knew I shouldn't think of her. If Aro ever decided to read my thoughts, he'd see. He'd see her. I didn't want to think about what he would do if he ever saw her, ever learned of her.

I had to stop thinking about her. I had to. But I never, ever wanted to.


	8. Like A River Flows

_Sorry about that cliffhanger! Let's see what happens, shall we?_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

**Like A River Flows**

Swimming the Atlantic Ocean was one of the most disgusting things I could remember ever doing in my short memory. The salt water got in my nose and mouth, making my stomach ache painfully, and stuck to my skin so much that I was convinced that I'd need a chisel to de-salt myself when we finally reached land. Peter and Charlotte, though, didn't seem at all bothered by it and I couldn't help but wonder how many times they'd done it before and why on earth they'd do it for fun. Or maybe it was just because I had plans to join a family that would help me learn to control my thirst enough to fly on airplanes, as scary as they looked, with humans. Either way, I would not be repeating my swim unless it was absolutely necessary.

We all needed to hunt badly when we reached the French shore. Peter and Charlotte went into Bordeaux to seek their meal and I went alone into the forests outside the city and gorged myself on deer blood. There was no way I could see Jasper again with any hint of redness in my eyes.

Charlotte, when we changed into our relatively dry, depending on your definition of dry, clothes that had been wrapped in plastic had assured me that there were only slight flecks of red left in my eyes. When we'd met back up with Peter, he'd promised that we'd need to hunt at least one more time before we arrived in Volterra so I'd have another chance to be golden.

I hurried through my meal, eager to have a chance to plan our route into Italy and to Jasper through my visions.

The first, and most annoying, thing that I saw was the sun-drenched French countryside. I absolutely refused to wait fifteen hours or more for it to be safe for us to travel.

I knew it was dangerous to be in Bordeaux while they hunted, but I needed to find a way to travel during the coming day. An old, apparently abandoned, but still working, army truck that had obviously been left there by the Americans after the war was the answer to my prayers. Weather and the passage of time had erased most of the markings from the green canvas and, working at vampire speed, I quickly flipped the canvas over and reattached it to the back of the truck; the underside was far less faded and gave the truck a whole new look. Then, working quickly as the sun started to creep into the horizon, I scratched off the last of the markings on the front of the cab.

I was in the driver's seat, on the very edge of the seat to better reach the pedals and the wheel, when Peter and Charlotte climbed into the cab with me.

"A truck, Alice?" Peter commented dryly. "And thanks for leaving that trail through the town. I don't think you meant to, but it's the only way that we found you."

I threw the truck into gear and pulled onto the road. "Oops. No, I totally forgot about you finding me," I admitted sheepishly. "And yes, a truck. If we cover ourselves up enough, we can drive through the day and be in Volterra by nightfall. The sooner we get to Jasper, the better."

"Alice is in charge, Peter," Charlotte told him firmly. "She can see what the best route into Volterra and, more importantly, out of Volterra is. I know she wouldn't lead us into something we couldn't get out of so if she says we're driving in a truck during the day, that's exactly what we're doing."

All Peter could find it in himself to do was mutter something about female vampires being bossy. But he was outnumbered and he knew it. Though I wasn't even sure that he'd actually been opposed to the truck.

What Charlotte said did make me worry a little bit, though. What if I was leading them into something that would cost them their lives? That was the last thing I wanted. I resolved, then and there, to first think of a way to get one of them to drive and then concentrate hard on the next twenty-four hours.

I didn't have time to give up control of the wheel. The vision hit me while I was still driving.

A small, ancient looking church in the Tuscan countryside was the best way to gain entry to the Volturi lair. A mesmerizing woman would be leading a group of tourists the stone church and Peter would speak to her about appearing before the Volturi. We would be ushered inside the church with the humans and through the tunnels into the ancient stone tower. We would wait in a reception area while the seventy-six men, women and children were killed, drained and disposed of.

When we appeared in front of the thrones, Jasper and Peter would fight for our freedom. We would all die.

That couldn't happen. I quickly decided to go to the church alone to see how the future changed.

That vision was much more promising though it was much more incomplete. When I came back to reality, I was still behind the wheel but Charlotte was sitting on my lap.

"Oh," she said, surprised, "you're back. Sorry about sitting on your lap but you nearly crashed into a farmhouse and we didn't know how to explain not getting hurt so I scooted onto you."

I laughed, desperately trying to sound nonchalant. "No need to apologize. Now I can see better, anyway."

We drove, literally together, across the south of France stopping only to refuel the roaring old truck without much conversation. Neither Peter nor Charlotte had ever been to Volterra and were relying on me to lead them in and out. Little did they know that I was going in alone. I just had to figure out how I would keep them from following me.

Scanning a map that he'd brought at a gas station, Peter suggested stopping La Spezia to hunt before we finished our journey. When I saw that they would double back west to Genova, leaving me to hunt in the mountains around La Spezia, I decided to agree with that. In seconds, I knew that I would be able to get to the church and into the tunnels long before Peter and Charlotte returned to La Spezia and found my trail.

"That sounds perfect," I agreed with what was probably a little too much excitement.

The plan went off without a hitch. They went west and I ran as fast as possible through the dark Tuscan countryside.

I arrived at the church just as the female arrived. When she caught my scent, she left the humans to look at the church in the moonlight, assuring them that it was the best time to see the full character of the building, and pulled me to the side. "Who are you and why are you here?" she demanded.

"I'm Alice," I told her calmly, sensing that it would work best. "I've heard about the Volturi and I believe I'm talented enough to be of use them."

"Fall in with the tourists," she ordered me. "I will motion when you are to follow me instead of them."

I did as she instructed, trying not to think about what awaited the people milling around me as we were ushered into the tunnel with promises of spectacular dawn views of Tuscany.

The female, who'd reminded a little old lady that her name was Heidi, turned over the humans to two gray cloaked men and then motioned me to follow her. She ushered me into a book filled room and told me to wait.

Exactly twenty-three seconds later, three ancient looking vampires entered the room. On impulse, I lowered my head and showed complete submission to them.

"Heidi tells me that you are Alice and you believe yourself talented enough to be useful." The shorter, brown haired man stepped forward and held out his hand to me. "I am Aro. These are my brothers, Caius and Marcus."

I didn't take his hand. I had to bargain with him before I let him have the upper hand. "I'm honored to meet you, Aro," I told him. "My talent is the ability to see the future based on decisions that are made, thusly giving me the ability to affect the outcome."

His eyes lit up beneath their milky film and, I could hardly believe it, he pulled his hand back. "Would you, dear Alice, consider joining us here in Volterra? I assure you that you would find it very much to your liking."

I knew that wasn't even remotely true, but I had my bargaining chip on the table. "No, thank you," I answered sweetly. "Perhaps I could work for you from somewhere else first. I am very young to this world and I would like to experience more of it. I know, though, that my gift is valuable and I hope that I could have the protection of the Volturi."

"On the promise that you would return to us at some point?" Aro turned around and looked at his brothers; they both nodded in agreement. "Is there anything else, dear Alice?"

I was absolutely terrified but I knew I couldn't show a moments wavering. "Yes," I answered boldly. "My mate has recently been brought here to Volterra. I believe it was against his will. I want him released. I want him to live with me outside of these walls."

"Oh, my dear, Alice, I'm not at all sure that's possible," the vampire said with obviously fake regret. "But, for the sake of negotiation, tell me your mate's name."

"Jasper," I answered firmly. "And if he isn't released, I won't ever join you."

His dark mahogany colored eyebrows raised a little in surprise. "We have ways of making you join us, dear Alice."

Reaching into the pocket of my blue coat, I pulled out a single matchstick. "And I have ways of making sure that I never do. Release Jasper and give me time to be free with him."

The blond one, Caius, stepped forward and glowered at me. "How much? How much time do you demand, girl?"

I hadn't really thought about this and I blurted out the first answer that came to me. "Five centuries."

"Too long," Caius growled. "I offer a century."

"Four," I countered daringly.

A smile of appreciation ghosted across his ancient face. "Two."

I shook my head, praying that I appeared far more calm and resolute than I felt. "Three."

"We've reached the center, then," Caius said absently. "Two hundred fifty years, then?"

"Three," I replied, standing firm. "With the condition that Aro can touch me, and see my gift, in one hundred years and I will do work for the Volturi, from wherever I am, after two hundred years. Only after three centuries will I make Volterra my home."

"Caius!" Aro hissed. "You can't possibly agree to this! Think of it, brother."

Caius kept his eyes on me. "I am thinking of it, brother. As I am thinking of the fact that she has just lit the match. Marcus, brother? Do you agree to the girl's terms?"

Marcus, slumped in his throne, nodded. "I do agree. I can see her bonds to Jasper. If we agree, perhaps he will return with her in time."

"Then you are outnumbered, Aro," Caius informed him a bored voice. "Put the match out on the floor, girl, you've got what you want. Demetri! Bring Jasper to this chamber."

Seconds later, I was vaguely aware of flinging myself across the room and into Jasper's very surprised arms.

"Why are you here?" he whispered quickly. "What have you done?"

"I came to get you back. And I did." Never, unless absolutely necessary to protect him, would I tell him the truth of what I'd promised. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Jasper."

"Go," Caius commanded us. "Go now before I change my mind."

Hugely thankful that he didn't mention the terms of us going, I dragged Jasper out of the Volturi lair. I didn't stop until we were well outside the city.

"Alice, stop!" he said when we were a few hundred yards from Peter and Charlotte; he motioned for them to stay where they were. "What did you have to give to get both of us out of there?"

I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my fingers to his lips. "Trust me, Jasper? Please."

He nodded slowly and lifted me until our noses touched. "Always."

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><p><em>Don't forget, we LOVE reviews and we wouldn't mind a bit if you told your friends to come read our story! :)<em>


	9. Surely To The Sea

_We own nada._

_Here's another chapter of our collaboration, hope you like it! Please tell is if you do, or even if you don't!_

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><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

**Surely To The Sea**

I set Alice down on the ground gently and waved to Charlotte and Peter. In an instant, they were standing in front of us. Peter grinned at me and shook his head. "Quite a girl you've got there."

Alice ducked her head. If it had been possible for her to blush at that moment, I'm sure she would have. I was getting a very strong shameful feeling coming from her, but before I had the time to ask exactly what she was so ashamed of, Charlotte laughed. I was very confused, an emotion I'm sure showed on my face.

"You know, Alice, if you saw something, you could have told us. You didn't need to run off while we were hunting," she said.

Alice sighed and tried, in vain, to push an errant strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry. I..." she snuck a glance at me and there was a sudden burst of happiness radiating from her. "I had to. That

was the only way it would have worked."

"We know." Peter reached for Charlotte's hand and took a step closer to her. "And if it was for any other reason, we would be upset, but this is understandable. And to be honest, I kind of saw it coming." Charlotte smacked him on the back of the head then, full force it seemed because there was a resounding crack. He called out "Hey!" loudly and rubbed the back of his head. Charlotte simply rolled her eyes in response.

"Okay, what are you all talking about?" By this point I was thoroughly confused.

Charlotte put her free hand on her and hip and raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me. " For a guy who can read emotions, you, Jasper Whitlock are incredibly dense. The girl tracked us down, swam across the ocean and went up against the Volturi on her own just to get you back." She paused momentarily to see if I understood what she was getting at. When it was clear that I didn't, she said, "She's your mate, obviously."

My mate. But...

Charlotte just rolled her eyes again.

Beside me, Alice winced. "Jasper, I... I don't... I mean, if you don't..." She looked down at her feet.

I frowned. I could feel this intense wave of panic and fear coming from her. What was she so afraid of? Was it possible that she was afraid I didn't feel the same way? I couldn't possibly be that important to her, could I? "Don't do that. Don't cringe." I said softly.

She turned to look at me, confused now. "Jasper...?"

At that moment, I felt more unsure of myself than I'd ever been. I couldn't begin to explain how good it felt just to be standing next to her. I felt like before now, I hadn't ever truly existed. Like it wasn't just that she completed a part of me that until now had been empty, but that before this moment, I had never existed at all. I looked over at her and smiled, unable to put how I felt into words. I reached over and brushed her hair away from her face. I never would have thought that in all eternity I would have met someone that made me feel this way.

"Ahem." We both turned to face Charlotte and Peter. I shook my head, making myself focus. I'd almost forgotten that they were here.

"I suspect you two have a lot to talk about..." Charlotte trailed off, twirling a lock of hair in her hands delicately.

"So we'll be going. We might go check out London, or maybe Barcelona, brush up on our Spanish," said Peter. There was a gleam in his eye that made me cringe just a little. I knew just what he meant by that and it had nothing to do with language.

Alice, meanwhile, grinned brightly. "That sounds like fun, maybe we'll have to come visit you someday."

"Definitely." Charlotte stepped forward and hugged Alice tightly, lifting her off the ground. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Alice. Take care of Jasper, okay?" She looked over at me with a mischievous

grin. "He needs it."

Charlotte put Alice down and with a final wave, they were gone.

A few moments later, Alice turned to me. "So..." she said softly.

"So..." I parroted the word back to her.

"Now what?" she asked.

At this, I couldn't help but laugh.

She gave a crooked grin, which, on her pixie-like features, was more adorable than anything I'd ever been fortunate enough to see.

"Are you telling me that you don't know?"

She ducked her head again. "Not entirely."

"Well..." I said, drawing the word out, "we should probably..." I swear I'd never had more trouble with words than I was having now, "talk about some things. I need to... I need to apologize to you, Alice."

I took her by the hand and led her over to a large, leafy tree. She let me. I sat down next to the trunk of the great tree and she soon followed. I took her hand in mine, running my thumb delicately over the back of her hand. I looked down, I didn't think I'd be able to say what I needed to unless I looked away from her. "I did what I thought I had to do, but I was wrong. I thought I had to protect you, I thought the only way to do that was to leave." I paused, but didn't look up. She didn't say anything and I wasn't able to get a clear read on her emotions, either. I continued anyway. "I... I want you to know that I won't do it again. If anything happens, I will, before doing anything else, tell you about it."

For a very long time, she didn't say anything and I fought the urge to look up at her. Finally, she said "Okay."

I couldn't fight the urge anymore. I looked up at her. "That's it?"

She nodded. "I have faith in you."

I couldn't help but crack a smile. "And the ability to see the future doesn't hurt, I'm sure."

She laughed. "That's true."

"I also, I want you to know that..." I didn't quite get to finish what I was about to say because just then, she giggled.

"It's okay, Jasper. I know."

"Well," I said, gathering up my courage as I spoke, "I'll show you then."

I leaned towards her and, gently at first, kissed her. She broke away from me for a moment, a smile breaking her lips. "Oh," she whispered. She didn't say so, but she felt something I knew must have been rare for her - surprise. I had managed to surprise her. And I intended to do it again.


	10. Darling So It Goes

_Nothing has changed from last week. We still own nothing. :) And sorry this is late. Blame the bachelorette party I went to last night. :) And please review! _

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

** Darling, So It Goes**

It was very, very hard to let go of Jasper after that first kiss. When we were running, our fingers were laced tightly together. When we were standing still or lying down, waiting for the sun to set, our bodies were molded together. When we both least expected it, his lips found mine and we were locked together ever more firmly. I hated it when we had to break apart.

But we had to hunt; we took turns so that one of us was always watching out for the other and I was thrilled that he trusted me so much more as we were both a little skittish in light of recent events. And, to my delight, Jasper was ever more intent on keeping to the vegetarian lifestyle and even pushed me to hunt as often as he did after I confessed that I d slipped when he left me alone. The only other time that some part or another of us wasn t touching was when I went into stores to get the supplies that we needed in our continuing quest for the Cullens. Jasper always waited, impatiently, close by but he didn t trust himself to accompany me into the stores yet. The latest separation had been a little trickier. After six months of traveling, nomad style, around North America in search of the elusive Cullens, Jasper had decided that we needed a car. He argued that the Cullens would be more accepting of our interest in their family if we came in the most human way possible. I couldn t disagree so, while I played the helpless young lady with the salesman, Jasper deftly stole a brand new navy blue Mercury Eight.

There was nothing better than curling up against Jasper, his arm draped around me tightly, as he drove as fast as he dared and the car would allow along the Canadian-American border. I didn t even want to drive. I just wanted to be as close to him as I possibly could. I didn t even care that it had been four months since we came back to America. I d never, in my short memory, had anyone just for myself and I wasn t going to risk losing him if I could help it.

"You said Alberta, right?"

I jumped a little, shaken from my serene, visionless daydream by Jasper s soft southern accent. "What?"

"You were a million miles away, Alice," he said in a voice laced with concern. "I only asked if it was still Alberta that the Cullens seem to living in. Or have you seen something else?"

I shook my head and snuggled back into his embrace. "No, it s still Alberta. I didn t see anything just now but earlier I saw part of a sign on a billboard that said something about a stampede. I don t know what that means, though, or if it could help us at all."

He squeezed me tight and kissed the top of my head. "It does help, Alice. There s a stampede in Calgary every July. Did you see the sign because the Cullens were near it?"

I pulled my legs up and sat on my feet, raising myself to be more level with Jasper. I was all but bouncing with excitement. "Yes. Emmett was trying to convince Edward that it would be safe for them to go to the stampede. What month is it, Jasper?"

He didn t even look at me like I was crazy for asking. He just kissed me again, this time on the cheek, and laughed. "It s July, Alice. The Cullens must be in Calgary."

I chewed the inside of my lip and looked at Jasper. "Are we going to Calgary?" I asked in barely a whisper.

Jasper smiled softly at me. "We can be there in four hours," he answered. "Are we going to Calgary?"

I didn t need to close my eyes to see but I wanted to concentrate and focus as much as possible. After a ridiculously long morning waiting for the rainstorm to descend on Calgary, Jasper and I would be in front of a large, white house on the outskirts of the city. Jasper would be very nervous and make me stand behind him while I bubbled with excitement. I would blurt out all the things that Jasper had been telling me to keep quiet about at first and we would be invited inside anyway.

I let out a squeal of delight.

Jasper laughed and squeezed me again. "Is that a yes?"

I nodded, literally bouncing now. "Mm-hmm. It s going to be sunny this morning but we ll find their scents and follow it to a house near McDonald Lake. We re wearing the same clothes so it has to be today."

"You re going to be insufferably excited all morning, aren t you?" he teased me gently before turning serious. "Is it safe to assume that all goes well?"

"Very well," I assured him quickly. "You ll be nervous and protective of me, very protective of me, but you knew that already. Carlisle will invite us in right away. I m very happy that you ve pushed both of us on the vegetarian diet so hard, that will really help how we re received."

He made sort of a sad, scoffing noise and I worried about him a little bit. "Military discipline can be applied to everything, I suppose," he said with a forced lightness. "Anyway, I know how badly you want this and I ll do whatever it takes to make sure that you get what you want."

I wrapped my arms around him this time and hugged tightly. "What do you want, Jasper?" I asked quietly. "I want you to have everything that you want, too."

After a short moment s thought, he took his eyes off the road and looked at me with an intensity that made my cold, unbeating heart soar with happiness. The six words he said were the most beautiful I d ever heard. "I don t want for anything anymore."

I sat on his lap as he drove the rest of the way to Calgary, unwilling to weaken the bond that I now knew meant as much to him as it did to me. And I sat on his lap in the almost empty bar where we d taken refuge from the morning sun. I wasn t quite as excited as I thought I would be while we waited. I was even a little sad. Joining the Cullens meant that it wouldn t be just Alice and Jasper anymore. We would soon be part of something bigger; we would be Alice and Jasper inside of the Cullens. I worried a little when Jasper was quiet, not asking me why I was sad, and then I felt a small sadness coming from him and I knew that our thoughts were the same.

"We don t have to go," I whispered as the first drops of rain start to fall in the street.

"Yes, Alice, we do," he whispered back as I saw that he d decided, with complete finality, that he was going and he was going with me. "We ll still be us. We ll just be stronger and happier."

I knew that his words were the ones he knew I wanted to hear, because I d said them so many times to him, and I knew that he was trying to convince himself of all those things. Maria had robbed him of his identity and forced him to be nothing more than a lifeless puppet and he was very afraid of that happening again in a coven. I knew that he was afraid, too, of the reaction that a peaceful coven would have to his battle scarred body.

It didn t make sense to try and convince him that they would welcome him, warily at first but with open arms nonetheless just as I d seen. He had to see that for himself. It was the only way that he would feel totally comfortable with the Cullen family. I knew, too, that he was terribly fearful that he would slip in the diet and Carlisle would kick him out, putting my chances at being a part of the family in jeopardy. I, of course, knew that would never happen. I d seen that he would slip and I d seen that Carlisle would help him struggle to work through his depression and become stronger for it. But that was something Jasper would have to see and experience for himself. I hated that he was afraid and I sensed that he hated being afraid because he saw it as a weakness. So I did all that I could do. I let him feel as much confidence and love as I had in me and I silently prayed that he would lean on me when he needed help. I d already proven that I d never let him fall, even if he was actually trying to fall.

"You re quite the daydreamer today," Jasper murmured as he pressed his face into my neck. "Are you ready to go and meet our family?"  
>I turned in his lap and kissed him chastely on the lips. "I am. Are you?"<p>

"As I ll ever be," he answered as he set me on my feet and linked his fingers through mine.

Jasper insisted on driving to the Cullens, claiming that I was too excited and nervous though I guessed that he just needed something to concentrate on, and I let him. We didn t say anything on the short drive to the Cullens. We were silent still as Jasper parked at the end of the long, winding driveway and we walked, hand in hand, up to the house. I knew that I was supposed to knock on the door and then Jasper would push me behind him even while I explained things to Carlisle but I was suddenly very nervous. What if they slammed the door in my face?

Jasper squeezed my hand and sent me as much confidence and love as I d sent him. And then he gently nudged me up the steps.  
>I took a deep, hopeful breath, raised my small fist to the door and knocked so lightly that only a vampire would be able to hear it.<p> 


	11. Some Things Are Meant To Be

_As always, we own nothing._

_We've been bad about replying to reviews, we know. RL issues have cropped up but that doesn't mean we don't absolutely LOVE every review we get! WE DO!_

_So thank you very much._

_Did anyone put together the significance of the chapter titles yet? No? You'll see soon enough!_

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><p><strong>Chapter Ten<strong>

**Some Things Are Meant To Be**

I heard the door start to creak open and I couldn't help but shift so I was standing in front of Alice. I knew there was no actual need to protect her, but I could never quite help myself in that respect.

A split second later the door opened fully and behind it stood two vampires, a tall blond man and a sweet looking woman with a heart shaped face. I could feel curiosity coming in waves from the man and nothing but kindness coming from the woman. She didn't know us, but she seemed like she wanted nothing more in the world than to invite us in and offer us whatever we might need.

Before I had the chance to say anything Alice stepped, or more like bounced, forward and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Alice and this is Jasper. I'm so excited to meet you both! I can't believe we're finally here!" Without waiting to be invited, without stopping to ask, either, she bounded forwards, past the two vampires and into the house.

"Alice..." I called out her name tentatively. I looked over at the other two and wanted to explain, but I wasn't exactly sure how.

Then the woman did something unexpected - she smiled. She then turned to the man beside her. "Friends of yours, Carlisle?"

The man, Carlisle, shook his head. "No."

At the back of the very large living room - what she was doing there I don't know, Alice dipped her head momentarily."Sorry! I got so excited, I forgot!" She bounced back over to me and dragged me inside. She sat down on the couch in the middle of the very large room and tried to make me sit next to her, but I remained standing. I was not yet nearly as comfortable here as she so obviously was. That and with the emotions coming from Carlisle and the woman, I wasn't sure, regardless of what Alice had seen, how long we would be staying.

The other two stared at Alice for a moment before the woman smiled again and quietly closed the front door. She gently took Carlisle's hand in her own and immediately I could tell how much calmer he felt. It would have been fairly obvious even without my gift. Then I understood, the two of them were mates. And if he was Carlisle, then from what Alice had told me, that meant she must have been Esme.

They walked over to us and there was a brief awkward pause before Alice spoke up again."Carlisle, Esme." The second she spoke their names, I could tell this wouldn't go well. Carlisle didn't show any outward signs, but he was starting to feel very wary of a girl he'd never met before knowing his name. Esme still radiated nothing but kindness, but it was a little more guarded now.

I put a hand on Alice's shoulder and sent out a wave of calm. It worked fairly well on the other two, but Alice was still as excited - and nervous - as ever. "Maybe I can explain things a little here. You see, Alice has a gift. She can see the future and she's seen us join your coven."

Before anyone else could say anything, another vampire, this one about seventeen, walked down the stairs from the second floor. "He's telling the truth," was all he said.

Alice got a strange look on her face then and spun to face the other boy. "Hi, Edward."

Edward nodded. "Alice."

He walked the rest of the way down the stairs and over to us."You two have been looking for us a very long time." Now it was my turn to be confused. He spoke like he already knew us.

"Are you..." I started to ask if he was like Alice, if maybe he'd seen us coming, though if he had, it made me wonder why Carlisle and Esme seemed so confused by our arrival. Maybe he'd seen it, but had kept the information to himself?

Alice laughed then, bringing me out of my thoughts."He's not like me. But he is gifted. He can read minds."

I looked to Edward and he nodded.

All I could think to say was, "Oh." I wasn't entirely sure I liked the emotions I was getting from Edward. From what Alice had told me, he was the only one of the coven without a mate and he had a similar gift to hers...

I took a step closer to Alice and stared pointedly at Edward. I flexed my hands, cracking my knuckles.

Edward rolled his eyes and suddenly I could hear his voice in my head. Relax. I'm no threat to you. I looked him up and down and supposed he wasn't. I put my hands back down at my sides.

"Next time, just speak out loud please." I did not like that he had such easy access to my mind. It was unnerving to say the least.

Carlisle smiled and when he spoke it was quiet."You get used to that."

Then another voice spoke up."No, you really don't." There was a lightly teasing tone to his words. And I could tell from the sort of easy going, care free feeling he was emitting that he was a very good natured sort of person. Without looking, I knew it must have been Emmett. I turned around to see a tall, well muscled vampire come sauntering into the living room. He looked like I would have expected him to, tall, well muscled and typically attractive. He sat down on the edge of the couch Alice was sitting on and smiled easily at both me and at Alice.

"Hey. Nice to meet you both. I'm Emmett." Then he turned to face Carlisle. "Why did no one tell me we were having company?" He spun again to face Alice."No one ever tells me anything around here."

Edward rolled his eyes again, something he seemed to do a lot, and said, "No one told you because no one knew they were coming." He then paused and looked towards the stairs for a moment before adding, "And Rose would like you to know that even if we had known and had told you, you probably wouldn't have remembered anyway, so it isn't like it really matters."

Emmett laughed and hollered,"What? You couldn't say that to my face?"

A split second later a rather beautiful, tall blond vampire, Rosalie no doubt - not that it was hard to guess, what with her being the only one left to make an appearance, was standing at Emmet's side. "Wasn't me." She looked over at Edward. "He made it up."

"Did not." Edward countered. Somehow, even while teasing, Edward still managed to look sulky and brooding.

Emmett shrugged."So...who are you exactly?"

Rosalie punched Emmett in the arm."What kind of a question is that?" There was a bluntness, a sharpness to Rosalie that I couldn't help but respect. However, at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder how she was mated with someone like Emmett, they were such opposites. She was tightly wound, all edges, and he was very calm, almost, soft in a sense.

Again, I could hear Edward's voice in my head. I know, I don't get it either.

I turned and glared at him. He just shrugged and grinned, like he hadn't done anything.

Alice grinned and giggled. I don't think I'd ever felt so much happiness coming from her. And suddenly I understood. She'd seen this, exactly this. She knew how well, and how quickly, we'd fit in here. I wanted to show her how pleased I was, how happy I was that this was all working out like she'd hoped, but I wasn't sure how to do it in front of the others.

"Well, I would suggest that we put it to a vote, but..." Carlisle shrugged. "I doubt we need to. You can stay here, become a part of our family if you wish to."

Alice's face lit up like a little kid at Christmas. "Really? You mean it?" She looked around at all the others. They all nodded.

Alice got to her feet and charged over to Carlisle. She leapt at him and caught him up in a big bear hug, almost knocking him off his feet, something that considering her all of four foot eleven stature, was quite funny to see. And I wasn't the only one laughing.

Alice jumped down and turned on me. She walked over slowly, at an almost human speed and said "What?" She tried to look imposing, but it didn't quite work. Not that she wasn't capable of looking imposing, but at the moment she wasn't having much luck reigning in her smile. So the fierce look didn't quite work as she intended.

"You always knew this was what would happen, huh? Even when things were dark... even when I left..."

"I hoped so, yes," she said softly.

"Will someone please explain what exactly is going on?" Emmett said, though it sounded more like a whine.

Alice turned to face him and said, "Sure, I'll tell you the story, if you would like to hear it."

"I think we would all like that very much Alice," said Esme. She had this way of smiling so softly it almost made anyone on the receiving end of the smile melt just a little on the inside.

Alice and I walked back over to the couch and sat down. The others gathered around, sitting or standing nearby. I held her hands in mine and gave them a small squeeze as she started telling the story of how we'd met about two years ago and everything that had happened since that day.


	12. Take My Hand

**Chapter Eleven**

**Take My Hand**

Edward was on his way to ask Carlisle if it was possible for vampire to break down. Apparently we could! Carlisle, though, was very alarmed that a Christmas tree could have broken me and would hurry in to check on me. And I was only looking at the tree Esme, Rosalie and I had just finished decorating.  
>But I'd just seen them coming so I unfolded myself from my perch on the edge of the sofa and got ready to answer the questions I'd already seen coming.<p>

You worry too much, Edward! I called out in my thoughts. I've never had a Christmas tree before. I was just looking at it and thinking about Christmas!

"You sat there for two hours, Alice," he pointed out as the entire family gathered; Jasper slipped into his customary spot behind me. "It's weird. Even you have to admit that."

I shrugged my shoulders innocently and smiled sadly at him. "Maybe. But that doesn't bother me much. All of you probably remember something about Christmas. All I know of it is what I've seen in store window displays, what I heard when I hung around on church steps during services and the tiny bit that Jasper told me he remember much."

Edward looked at Jasper in surprise. "You really don't remember much, do you?"

It was Jasper's turn to shrug nonchalantly. "No, I don't," he admitted quietly. "Maria didn't exactly take the time to tell us newborns that it was important to think about our human lives if we wanted to remember them. It probably would have hurt too much to think about them much anyway."

I reached back and squeezed Jasper's hand. I knew Esme was about to hug him, or me; she hadn't quite decided yet but I'd seen that, as long as I was holding his hand, he wouldn't react badly to contact from her. So, with a silent, mental growl that Edward should keep back, I let Esme approach us.

She wrapped us both in a tight but tentative hug. I hugged her back even more tightly but Jasper was too startled to react much at all. "It's their first Christmas, Carlisle," she whispered in a sad, almost broken voice. "As much as it can be, anyway."

Carlisle was more wary of Jasper's reactions and stayed back, allowing himself only a small smile. "We'll have to make it the best then, won't we, my darling?" he said softly before he focused on me. "Alice? Why didn't you ever go into a church on Christmas?"

I looked at Edward for help; I really didn't want to be a total dummy. We don't burst into flames in churches?

He decided to tell me that we didn't but that Carlisle would appreciate being the one to explain that to me. So I looked back at Carlisle. "We don't burst into flames if we go into a church? I thought that one would have to be true. But I love looking at the outside of churches and the music is so beautiful, I'd love to go in one!"

Carlisle, ever patient, waited until I was done rambling before he answered. "No, Alice, we can go into churches whenever we like without any flames at all. That's a myth that was spread by the Volturi to better hide actual truths about our kind."

"We only go to church on Christmas Eve, though," Rosalie added from her spot wrapped in Emmett's arms. "We all come from a part of history and society where church was important and it's a way for us to keep some hold on our human lives. We've spent Christmas at the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris, Westminster Abbey in London and even St. Peter's Basilica in Rome."

Jasper's arms tensed around me and I sighed, seeing the question he was going to ask. "Are our … diet struggles keeping you from being somewhere like that?" he asked. "You can go, if you want."

Esme let go of me and tightened her grip on Jasper; he still didn't respond to her touch, for better or worse. "No. We don't always go to fantastic places. Sometimes we prefer to spend Christmas quietly somewhere and that's just how we planned to spend this Christmas. So don't worry about, please, Jasper."

"Yes, ma'am," he answered properly.

It was Christmas Eve that very night and someone that Carlisle worked with had told him about a small, country church on the outskirts of town that held midnight services by candlelight and, in the cold Canadian winter, only the hardiest souls went there.

And really, who was hardier than a family of vampires?

"I'm sorry, Alice," Jasper said as we changed clothes in our room. "I should have realized how much Christmas meant to you last year and done something more to celebrate it."

"Don't be silly, Jasper," I told him, snaking me arms around his waist and leaning my head against his chest. "I had you. That was the only Christmas present I wanted."

I heard him sigh and saw what he was going to say. To let him say it but say it easier, I raised myself onto my toes and looked into his beautiful golden eyes, waiting for him to speak.

"I'm glad I don't remember much about Christmas from when I was human," he said, surprising me when he changed his mind at the last minute. "I like that I can have my first Christmas with you, even if we did miss one together."

I thought back to what we'd done last Christmas; explored the Swiss Alps, higher than an human dared go, and heard Edward give a tiny sigh of surprise that we'd done something so mundane and boring, compared to Rosalie and Emmett, at least. "I loved exploring the Alps with you," I told him as I mentally teased Edward for being a prude sometimes. "And that was our first Christmas. This is just our first traditional Christmas. We're not traditional, Jasper, so it's perfect."

"Let's go, love birds!" Emmett shouted from downstairs. "The sooner we get going, the sooner we get going."

Esme sighed loudly enough for everyone to hear and we all laughed when we heard the familiar sound of her hand meeting his forearm in a soft slap. "Leave them be, Emmett," she chided him. "We've got plenty of time to get there."

Jasper laughed, his eyes sparkling as he caught hold of the happy, hopeful emotions that were surely filling the house. "I guess it times for the vampires to go to church," he announced as he helped me into my forest green felt coat.

The little wooden church was beautiful in the candlelit moonlight. There were less than two dozen people brave enough to go that night.

Jasper and I sat as close to the doors as possible with Rosalie and Emmett next to us and Carlisle and Esme in front of us. No one bled and Jasper even breathed while we were there.

There was no massively ornate organ or altar like the ones I'd seen when I peeked through the doors of bigger churches in Philadelphia and a few other places, but it was even more beautiful because I was with my love and my family.

When we got home, we didn't turn on any lights. Our sight made them unnecessary in any circumstance, but Esme and Rosalie went around and lit the house with candles and we gathered around the sparkling tree. We'd set it up next to the piano on the off chance that Edward would oblige her and play while still close to the rest of us and the tree.

He did, of course.

While he played my new favorite Christmas song, O Holy Night, I noticed that Jasper had put the hand that wasn't linked in mine on Esme's as it lay on the polished wood of the piano. When the song was over, he leaned to the left and kissed Esme's cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Esme," he whispered softly to her.

The look of pure, unadulterated joy on her face told me that he would never, ever be able to match that as a gift for her.

When I had a vision of the seven of us at Christmas Eve services at La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona in a year, I knew I was home for good and to stay.


	13. Take My Whole Life Too

**Chapter Twelve**

**Take My Whole Life Too**

I mashed my hand to my face and shut my eyes. I took in a deep breath of air and let it out slowly.

It didn't help.

I was marrying Alice tonight and I couldn't remember ever being more panicked. Not because I didn't want this, no, definitely not. It was because I did and because of just how much I wanted this. I was suddenly afraid of... I could not put words to it exactly.

"Don't worry." Suddenly, Edward was at my side. That was how panicked I was. Someone had managed to sneak up next to me without my noticing.

I turned to Edward, confusion, I'm sure, radiating from me. We weren't exactly close, Edward and I. There wasn't any specific reason for it, but we weren't. He and Alice on the other hand... if Edward weren't so obviously not interested and if I wasn't absolutely without a doubt certain that Alice was my mate, I might have worried. "Who says I'm worried?" I tried to play it off like I wasn't, like he hadn't managed to sneak up on me, but it didn't work.

"Come on, man. I can't read minds or anything and even I can tell."

From behind me, Emmett laughed. I spun to face him, an annoyed look on my face.

"Really? Because usually you can't even tell your right from your left." As a response to this, Emmett simply shrugged. He wasn't denying it, but he wasn't agreeing either. I let out a legitimate laugh. Emmett was oddly good at sucking the tension out of any situation with the fewest words. He didn't really have any special talents, not in the way Alice or Edward or I did, but that particular skill came awfully close.

Emmett grinned and said, "Your tie is on crooked."

I grimaced and turned to face the mirror on the back wall. He was right, it was crooked. I let out another long sigh. With lightning quick speed I straightened it, then I stared at my reflection for several seconds and sighed again. Alice had, of course, picked out everything, right down to the matching ties we were all wearing. I felt ashamed to admit that the look she had chosen did not work on me.

That is not to say that Alice did not have good taste, god forbid anyone ever accuse her of that but that... today of all days I found myself unable to repress the thought that I just didn't look good enough.

It was an entirely stupid thing to focus on and something I knew didn't bother Alice at all for she'd told me exactly that at least a thousand times, and yet...

"Trust me. You're exactly what she wants," said Edward.

"Ugly war scars and all," added Emmett.

In a less than subtle motion, Edward smacked Emmett. And Emmett smacked him right back.

"I thought only I was allowed to do that," said another voice - Rosalie. We all spun to face her and said nothing. Edward and I because we simply had nothing to say, Emmett, I'm sure, because he was too busy picturing removing Rosalie's dress later. I shook my head.

They ruined more clothing than anyone I'd ever met. I couldn't help but think of how that made Alice happy because it meant she got to go out and buy more clothes, but angry at the same time because to her the only real sacrilege in life was to ruin good clothes.

"We're all ready, so anytime now..." Rosalie turned and walked gracefully from the room. Emmett looked over and winked at me before following her out.

"You ready?" asked Edward. I nodded. I couldn't think of any words at the moment. I felt a sudden, sharp sting of sadness coming from Edward just then, but didn't mention it. It was something we all knew but never discussed - how difficult it must have been for Edward to be the only one of us without a mate. I released a wave of peace, as much for him as for myself and headed outside.

It was a truly beautiful night. The full moon sat low in the sky and the stars were everywhere. Alice and I had decided to get married in Prince's Island Park in the center of the city. It had been, in the time we'd been in the city, one of mine and Alice's favorite places to go. So, when we'd finally decided to get married, it seemed only natural that we'd get married here. We'd also decided, much to Rosalie's dismay, to have a small wedding, with only the family present and Carlisle to marry us. Since we didn't want to draw attention to ourselves in the sunlight, we'd had to wait until the park was completely empty and that left us waiting until nearly midnight.

There was a song playing softly as I walked to where Carlisle was standing. I took my place in front of him and Emmett and Edward stood beside me. On the opposite side, Rosalie stood with Esme. The music grew a little louder and the melody of the song caught my attention. I hummed along to the song, the origin of which was very familiar to me. It was based on an old song from the Civil War, "Aura Lea.".

The song was "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley. I couldn't help but smile at how perfect the song was. Alice had picked it and she'd kept it a secret from me up until now.

And then she was walking towards me. There weren't words in any language to describe how beautiful she looked just then. The moonlight lightly reflected off her skin slightly, giving it a slight glow. She had the most radiant smile and I could feel nothing from her but the purest form of joy. And I couldn't believe that any of that had anything to do with me. It still stunned and amazed me every day that I had been allowed to be anything approaching this happy.

I smiled at her briefly as she stopped and stood next to me and she giggled in her usual way, like there was some joke I wasn't entirely in on.

We both stood completely still in front of Carlisle. He began speaking, saying a newer, modified version of the words I'd heard before. As he spoke, I couldn't help but pause for a moment to think about my life before this, to think of what my life might have been like had I not been turned. I might have died in battle, I might have survived the war only to die some years later by something either mundane or extraordinary. I might have lived to an old age - well, for a human, anyway - with a wife, several children and many grandchildren. Any number of things could have happened had I never met Maria and never been turned. I had always hated Maria for taking from me what I'd always thought was the most important thing - my humanity. But I knew now that I had been wrong. The most important thing was and always would be Alice. And if I'd never been turned, I never would have met her. I never thought I would, but somehow, even with all the years of suffering and every single scar, I was glad I wasn't human.

Alice smiled at me then and repeated the vows as Carlisle spoke them.

I'd originally wanted us to write our own vows but Alice had wanted to keep everything as traditional as possible in regards to the ceremony itself. As with everything else, she had no memories of ever seeing a wedding before and while we both knew that we would see Emmett and Rosalie get married many, many more times in the years to come, this would be our one and only wedding and she wanted this to be as close to what she considered a "real" wedding as possible. Of all of us, Alice had the most interest in the human world and I had no problem helping her feel like she was a little closer to that world whenever I could.

Next, it was my turn. I repeated the vows as Carlisle spoke them, holding Alice's hands in mine as I did so.

For the rest of the ceremony, I never let go of her hands.

When the ceremony was drawing to a close Emmett said, "You can kiss her now, you know."

In response to that, Rosalie simply rolled her eyes. Edward laughed. Esme blushed and Carlisle said nothing.

I looked over at them for the briefest of moments before turning back to Alice. I dipped my head, not wanting to admit that I was nervous to kiss her in front of everyone like this.

Sensing this as she had a habit of doing, she leaned forward and kissed me.

The kiss was brief - neither of us had ever been the public display of affection type - but when we broke apart we both had impossibly big smiles on our faces.

I knew that things would not always be as simple and as perfect as tonight had been. I knew there would be problems ahead of us. I knew there would be dark times. I knew, though I wished to deny it, that I would be the cause of some of those dark times and that she would be the cause of others. I knew there would be times when it felt, as it had before, like the world was trying to tear us apart just because it could. But I also knew that so long as we were together, we could handle whatever the world decided to throw at us.


End file.
